People Who 'Get It' Quietly Ignore These 17 Things Society Tries To Push On Them
You need no permission to opt out of things that don’t serve you.
Joseph Greve | Unsplash In a world that constantly tells us who to be and how to live, there's a quiet revolution happening among those who have learned to think for themselves. These are the individuals who've discovered that true fulfillment doesn't come from following every trend or buying into every message society broadcasts.
They've learned that saying no to society's noise often means saying yes to a more intentional life. If you've ever felt the weight of invisible expectations or wondered why certain "shoulds" never quite felt right, you're already on your way to joining them. Relief comes instantly when you realize you can opt out of things that don’t serve you without feeling unreasonable.
People who get it quietly ignore these 17 things society tries to push on them:
1. You don’t need a world-changing mission
You can live a deeply satisfying life by mastering your craft and serving your immediate community. If you genuinely have a massive vision, pursue it. But if you’re torturing yourself trying to manufacture one because you think you should, stop. You’re allowed to just be good at what you do and enjoy your life.
2. You don’t need so many friends
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Most people can maintain only a handful of deep relationships. Having three friends you actually trust and enjoy is infinitely better than having thirty acquaintances you feel obligated to keep up with. The exhaustion of maintaining a large social circle just to appear well-connected isn’t always worth it. The right few people will bring you more peace than a crowd ever could.
Research by anthropologists suggests we can only maintain five intimate friendships, though we might know the names of up to 1,500 people. The quality of our relationships actually matters for health and happiness, not the number of friendships we have.
3. You don’t need to be social every weekend
Constant socializing is draining for a lot of people, and there’s nothing wrong with spending your weekends however you want. This is the time to catch up on reading, tickle your dog, work on projects, or just do nothing. The idea that every weekend needs to be an event is exhausting and often expensive.
If you genuinely love being out, great. But if you’re forcing yourself to have plans just to avoid feeling like a loser, you’re creating stress for no reason.
4. You don’t need to get married
Marriage works great for some people and creates decades of misery for others. You can have deep, committed relationships without signing yourself over to a system that steals freedom from many. You can also live your life on your own. Stop allowing shame to dictate your life.
As career and life management consultant Dr. Ruth Schimel observes, even in healthy marriages, women often do most of the maintenance work, serving as the interpersonal force as well as bridge to other people, while juggling work, community projects, and continued education. Those who choose to remain unmarried often don't feel lonely or regretful, but have full professional lives and engaging, meaningful friendships with a range of people
5. You don’t need to have strong opinions on everything
The world is complicated, and most issues don’t have clean answers. You’re allowed to not have an opinion on things that don’t directly affect you or that you haven’t deeply researched.
And your best path in any argument is to let the other person win. Being okay with this has brought me more peace than I imagined. The pressure to constantly signal where you stand on every controversy is exhausting and performative. Your mental energy is finite. Spend it on what actually matters to you.
6. You don’t need to stay close to your family
Some families are toxic, dysfunctional, or simply incompatible with who you’ve become. You’re allowed to create distance if the relationship causes more harm than good. And even if they’re great people, you’re still allowed to live far away. It’s your life. There’s a difference between helping aging parents from a place of genuine care and sacrificing your entire life out of guilt.
You can support family without letting them drain you. You can care for people while still protecting your own well-being and freedom. If your family is genuinely supportive and healthy, invest in those relationships. But if they’re draining, critical, or damaging, you’re allowed to step back without being a bad person.
Individuals exposed to toxic family environments face higher risks for anxiety, depression, and chronic stress, research has revealed. When people maintain flexible family boundaries, they experience better work engagement, improved mental health, and enhanced resilience, with this flexibility helping balance family and work responsibilities while increasing happiness and productivity
7. You don’t need to keep up with every single news story
Most news is designed to trigger anxiety and keep you engaged, not to inform you meaningfully. The essential things find you anyway. You can live a fully functional life knowing almost nothing about daily headlines. The mental space you reclaim by ignoring the news cycle is significant.
Tracey Libby, a wellness coach and EFT practitioner, advises avoiding watching the news right before bed and not obsessing about updates, instead taking appropriate precautions and limiting news exposure. The 24-hour news cycle can be overwhelming, and if listening to reports gets you worked up, you should try avoiding these triggers whenever you can.
8. You don’t need a college degree
College is expensive, often outdated, and increasingly unnecessary for many careers. The internet has democratized learning. Skills matter more than credentials in most fields now.
I had two degrees and used neither of them. I built a successful career as an illustrator, coach, and writer purely from cheap courses and Internet tutorials. Choose based on your actual goals, not social expectations.
9. You don’t need to have children
Parenthood is one of the most demanding commitments you can make, and it’s perfectly reasonable to decide it’s not for you. You can contribute to the world, build a legacy, and find purpose without raising children. Some people are meant to be parents. Many aren’t. Both are fine.
Research from Michigan State University found no differences in life satisfaction and limited differences in personality traits between child-free individuals and parents, not-yet-parents, or childless individuals. Childfree women feel they have a good sense of identity and individuality, don't feel defined by their role within the family, and report greater freedom and control over their bodies, life, and future.
10. You don’t need to travel extensively
Travel can be expensive, exhausting, and often more stressful than relaxing. I’ve acknowledged recently that travel is rarely as great as it is in my head. It’s far better to have a life I don’t want to escape from than to have one I need to.
A bit of both is awesome. I love adventures, but travel isn’t a requirement. You can live a rich, interesting life without constantly being somewhere else.
11. You don’t need to be in a relationship
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Some people thrive alone. Being single by choice is valid. You can have a complete, fulfilling life without a romantic partner. The pressure to couple up often leads people into mediocre relationships just to avoid being alone.
If you genuinely want a partnership, pursue it. But if you’re content solo, stop letting others make you feel broken for it. Loneliness and aloneness aren’t the same thing.
Social psychologist Dr. Bella DePaulo, who has been studying singles for well over a decade, has found that plenty of single people are leading happy and successful lives. They are not pining for "The One," but are living their single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.
12. You don’t need to respond to everyone immediately
Immediate responses train people to expect immediate access to you. Your time and attention are your most valuable resources.
You’re allowed to respond when it suits you, not when your phone buzzes. You have a mission to pursue, remember? Batch your responses. Find and protect your focus. People can wait.
13. You don’t need to monetize every skill you have
Some things are better left as pure enjoyment. Not everything needs to be optimized for profit. When you monetize a hobby, it can often stop being fun and become another obligation. You’re allowed to do things simply because you enjoy them, with no expectation of financial return.
Engaging in a hobby is enjoyable in itself because we are working on something meaningful to us, and hobbies allow us to enter an active flow state, which is associated with increased happiness, greater creativity, and better emotional regulation. Research shows that individuals who engage in more frequent enjoyable leisure activities have better mental and physical functioning, offering a respite from the demands of daily life.
14. You don’t need to constantly do things that scare you
The idea that you need to be perpetually uncomfortable to be a good human is exhausting. Yes, occasional challenges are valuable, but you can enjoy challenges in the areas that fascinate you.
You don’t need to live in constant fear mode to have a meaningful life. I learned most growth happens through consistency in things I’m already capable of, not dramatic leaps into terror. Your comfort zone exists for a reason. Rest there when you need to. Save the scary stuff for when it actually matters.
15. You don’t need to attend every social obligation
Most social obligations drain more energy than they provide. You’re allowed to decline invitations without elaborate excuses. ‘I can’t make it’ is sufficient. Your presence isn’t owed to anyone.
Clinical and forensic psychologist Ahona Guha explains that saying "yes" to things comes with some type of opportunity cost, whether it's a financial, energetic, or timing cost. People who can decline invitations or refuse a favor without being questioned are able to protect both their time and energy without worrying about damaging relationships.
16. You don’t need to have your life figured out by a certain age
The timelines society imposes, such as being career-established by 30, married by 35, and financially secure by 40, are arbitrary and increasingly irrelevant. People build meaningful lives at every age.
Your pace is your own. Comparing your timeline to others creates anxiety that holds you back further. Some figure things out early. Others take decades. Both paths work and create lessons from various important angles. The only timeline that matters is whether you’re moving in a direction that feels right to you, regardless of what age you are.
17. You don’t need to ‘find yourself’
The obsession with finding yourself often delays actually living. You don’t discover who you are through endless introspection and soul-searching. You discover it by committing to action and following through.
Studies show that aspects of identity that favor consistently chosen actions become more valued, while aspects that favor actions consistently not chosen become less valued. Identity theory predicts that identity maturation occurs as a result of individuals' investment in social roles that require them to engage in mature and socially responsible behavior.
Your identity emerges from what you do, not from sitting around thinking about who you might be. You are what you do, not what you think about doing. I’m not saying do none of these things. I’m saying you don’t need to feel obligated in this age to do any of them. Big difference.
You need no permission to opt out of things that don’t serve you. You just need to stop mistaking cultural expectations for personal obligations. The relief comes when you build your life based on what actually matters to you, not what you’ve been told should matter.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
