People Who Don’t Need To Buy A Bunch Of Stuff To Feel Good Usually Have These 3 Distinct Personality Traits
Tim Douglas | Pexels I told myself that when I fulfilled all my commitments — when I got over the next hurdle in my job, saved more money, or when my child was in school, or finally bought that thing that I really wanted, then I would finally enjoy my life. That I would finally live my ideal life. I was wrong. UCLA researchers found that people who got their happiness from meaning and purpose in life were actually healthier at a genetic level than people who focused on pleasure-seeking through buying a bunch of stuff.
You don't have to wait for an arbitrary milestone to discover something that will fuel you every day and through every step. I found my purpose, and you can find yours, too. What is a life purpose? It's the underlying reason for being and that which gives meaning to your life. In contrast to your mission, which is the particular way you fulfill your purpose, your purpose is your being. It's the essence of who you are. Whether you want to jump out of bed excited instead of dragging yourself to a job you hate each morning, or if you simply want to live with greater intention, it's never too late to find your reason to be — and that reason does not exist in a shopping cart.
People who don’t need to buy a bunch of stuff to feel good usually have these 3 distinct personality traits:
1. They know who they are without needing things to prove it
If your purpose is who you are, the first step is self-discovery. When I coach my clients, I take them through a journey of connecting with their authentic selves. This process includes exploring their needs, drives, values, interests, passions, talents, gifts, personality, and ways of operating.
It also helps to reflect on your role models and why you hold them in such high esteem. Often, you embody the same characteristics — exploring them can give you profound insights into who you are and what you're meant to do with your life. Another valuable exercise is to think back to when you were a child. What did you like to do and what brought you joy?
Often, you get clues about your purpose from your childhood, before your judgment became clouded by family and societal expectations. Living your purpose is knowing and loving who you are and sharing your gifts so you can make a difference.
When you truly know yourself, you're more likely to experience vitality, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Studies found that understanding who you really are helps you recognize which actions feel authentic and gives your life a sense of meaning and direction. (Hint: It's not filling your Amazon cart.)
2. They trust their inner compass more than outside validation
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When your mind is full of chatter, it's harder to see what your heart already knows. Block out the shoulds, woulds, and coulds, and connect to a deeper knowing of who you are and who you want to be.
One way to figure out your purpose and what to do with the rest of your life is to meditate. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think about times when you felt your purpose. If meditation isn't your thing, try being more mindful as you go about your day. Stop and bear witness to your life.
Check in with what feels right, notice synchronicity, and pay attention to what lights you up. Soon, you'll have the information you need to chart your course. Then, learn to trust your compass.
When you act in alignment with your purpose, you feel alive, whole, and completely yourself. And when you compartmentalize or push aside who you are, you will know it in your body, heart, mind, and soul.
Studies on mindfulness found that quieting your mental chatter helps you tap into what researchers call inner wisdom or inner guidance. This deeper level of awareness lets you access your authentic needs and values instead of all the noise from external expectations and pressures.
3. They don't buy into the belief that stuff equals happiness
For as many signals you get in life about your purpose, there can be amber lights slowing you down. Thoughts like, "It's too hard to change careers," "I'm too old," or "You have to pay your dues," will make you question yourself and hold you back.
The only thing standing in the way of bringing meaning into your life is you. So, pay attention to the thoughts you have and the words you choose, and then begin to question them.
Research in The Journal of General Psychology found that self-doubt has significant negative effects on both performance and well-being. The study showed that when people held beliefs that their abilities were fixed, higher levels of self-doubt led to greater nervousness and worse performance on tasks.
What are the facts? Seek out the evidence for opposing views and weaken your acceptance of your limiting ones. You're meant for more! Choose empowering words and affirmations, like:
- "I am worthy of living a meaningful life."
- "I love my work."
- "I make a difference."
- "I am living a beautiful life, fulfilling my purpose."
It's not sufficient to simply say these phrases daily, though. You need to believe them and embody them. Act as if and then notice small wins. All it takes is a little momentum and the confidence to be who you are and become who you are capable of becoming.
Believe you will find your purpose and live it out, and you will! Follow this prescription, and you'll have greater self-awareness, a more reliable inner-guidance system, and beliefs that will enable you to soar.
Landing that dream job, building a career that inspires you, and fulfilling your potential is closer than you think. When you make a promise to yourself to live with passion and purpose, you enrich the world. Say "yes" to yourself — you're worth it!
Lisa Petsinis is an ICF-credentialed life and career transition coach. Her bylines have appeared on Psych Central, The Good Men Project, Parade, Prevention, The Minds Journal, PopSugar, and All4Women, as well as many others.
