8 Ways People Block Their Own Success Without Even Realizing It
Instead of falling into the same old traps, make a new plan.
Kaboompics.com | Canva Let’s face it, change isn't easy. It would be so much easier to just stick with what you know. The problem is, in order to grow and find success, we have to be able to adapt and change. Without knowing it, too many of us block the path toward the life of our dreams.
Change is uncomfortable, and we oftentimes revert back to what we know rather than implementing new habits that could be beneficial for us. However, there are things we can do that can make change easier, based on research of motivation — and a few things we should avoid.
1. They try to succeed without any real planning
People who block their personal growth and refuse to change for the better often rely on hope rather than planning or scheduling.
Instead of falling into this trap, make a plan. Pick a time every day when you will block out your calendar to work on the activity. For example, if you're working on a daily meditation practice, start with 10 to 15 minutes first thing in the morning.
Want to jog three days a week? Schedule a time right after work or over the lunch hour. Pick a time when you are most likely to be successful. Write it down in your calendar and work on it as you would an important work assignment. Make sure the time is non-negotiable.
2. They allow their dreams to just 'float' in their minds
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When people start wanting to make changes in their lives, they too often allow their goals to be broad and amorphous rather than clear and specific.
There is power in the pen! And handwriting your goals is more powerful and effective than typing them. Writing something down and seeing it in black and white can help you stay committed and stick to your goal.
Writing down our goals clearly and with as much detail as possible increases our success by as much as 42 percent! That’s a pretty big boost and an easy step we all can take.
3. They focus on failures and shortcomings
The areas where you put your attention will grow. That's why you have to be careful not to get stuck thinking about failures or shortcomings.
We're all motivated by positive reinforcement, so giving yourself a reward right after trying something new (like going to the gym) can help reinforce the behavior. It can be as simple as buying yourself a latte after the completing the task or activity. Your brain will start to connect the positive reward with the activity, further reinforcing the change.
It’s easy to just see success in terms of completion of the goal. However, you're more likely to stay motivated if you can see the progress you make every day.
Focus on what you're doing right, such as blocking out the time to do the activity or learning about the benefits of exercise. Changes start with small steps.
Keep an activity log to write down when you have worked on the activity. A simple chart with the date, time, and activity you worked on will do. Yes, it's more work but it helps you focus on the positive, stay motivated, and find areas where you need to change in order to succeed.
This will also allow you to look back and see how much you have accomplished. Celebrate your activity by tracking it on a calendar with a checkmark, sticker, or an "X."
4. They wake up and immediately distract themselves
People who block their own motivation to change wake up and immediately find distractions from their goal. Often, this comes in the form of technology, but anything that keeps them from focusing on healthy change and motivation is a distraction.
At the beginning of each day, set your intention of what you would like to accomplish that day. It doesn’t have to be that long and detailed, just focus on what you would like to focus on that day.
A simple phrase or mantra can also be effective: "I seek peace and contentment today," or "I'm going to focus on what is going well today."
5. They don't have a clear goal
Again, keep it simple, but make sure you've identified clearly what you want to accomplish. Without a clear goal like this, people can't find their success.
For example, maybe you'd like to exercise three times a week for a half-hour each session, for a month. You may need to set smaller goals to achieve this, such as finding out the schedule of classes or coordinating walking with a friend.
6. They refuse to learn from others
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People who block their own growth and progress try to reinvent the wheel, so to speak. They look inward rather than finding people to inspire them and to learn from.
Looking for inspirational people who have overcome adversity or achieved their goals can keep us motivated. Every day, ask yourself how they would respond when feeling a lack of motivation.
Keep a picture of them on your refrigerator. Create a vision board with their quotes. You can include other inspirational quotes to lift you up when you're feeling uninspired.
7. They save important tasks for the end of the day
We're more likely to be tired and worn down by the end of the day, and less likely to have the willpower to complete our goals. Still, many people do this, thinking they'll be more motivated later.
Prioritize your activity earlier in the day, before you're inundated with other choices and potential distractions that can take away from your goal.
8. They're too rigid
It's not easy to change, and being too rigid or hard on yourself is a sure way to discourage any positive progress toward your goal. Having an all-or-nothing approach or being self-critical will only result in your giving up sooner and reverting back to old habits.
Remember that setbacks are inevitable, and we all will have some good days and bad days. Self-compassion helps us remain encouraged and less concerned with setbacks.
Everyone has setbacks along the way, and often the journey and process are as important as the end result.
Yes, change can require some work and discipline. But the rewards of achieving your goal and learning a new healthy habit far outweigh the comfort of staying in the same routine. Printing this checklist, placing it somewhere visible in your house, and creating an inspiration board will help keep you motivated and moving towards your goal.
Things can get better. Taking small steps every day will help you achieve your goals. You can do this! You got this!
Monica Ramunda, MA, LPC, LCMHC, RPT-S is a licensed counselor in both Colorado and North Carolina and a Registered Play Therapist supervisor. She offers teletherapy and in-person sessions for clients. Monica helps clients reach their full potential and become the best version of themselves.
