15 Paradoxes In Life That Only Make Sense With Age
Sometimes, life only makes sense when it doesn’t.
Vitality Gariev | Unsplash British writer and orator Alan Watts once said, “We live in a world of paradox, where everything contains its opposite.” I have come to learn that, too, and these 15 paradoxes in life prove it.
Here are 15 paradoxes in life that only make sense with age:
1. To gain control, you have to let go
This relates to paying customers, romantic partners, and the connection to spirit. Clinging too tightly to anything often leads to suffocation; trust allows flow.
2. The more I learn, the less I know
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According to physicists, life is made up of 0.00001% matter and 99.9999% energy. According to scientists, the human eye perceives colours not because that’s the colour it is, but because it absorbs some colours and reflects others. We perceive only the reflected colours.
How am I meant to understand the complexity of life when laws like this govern the universe? There’s too much magic and mystery.
3. Freedom requires discipline
It took me a long time to realise that structure allows me to progress more quickly. Without structure, my time is too leaky.
Writer James Clear, author of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, put it like this:
“The way to expand your freedom is to narrow your focus. Stay focused on saving to achieve financial freedom. Stay focused on training to achieve physical freedom. Stay focused on learning to achieve intellectual freedom. The disciplined become the free.”
4. Happiness comes when you stop chasing it
A beach ball underwater floats serenely on the surface only once the pressure has been lifted from it. A coiled spring rests gently only if it’s allowed to expand. Oftentimes, the pursuit of happiness can block the experience of being happy.
5. Vulnerability is strength
There’s something beautiful and raw about someone speaking openly and authentically. It’s not an intellectual thing; something stirs in the heart. When someone else dares to open up, I feel like I can do it, too. So, what feels like weakness is often the path to connection and courage.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” — Brené Brown
6. The only constant in life is change
Everything in life arises and passes away — from butterflies to mountain ranges to planets. Some things just take longer than others to change, but they’re still changing. Change is the only known truth in the universe. Stability is found in adapting, not resisting.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” — Alan Watts
7. Success often grows out of failure
One of the best equations I’ve ever seen is: Failure + failure + failure = success.
So, don’t be afraid to fail. Breakdowns often lead to breakthroughs.
8. The more you give, the more you receive
To make money, you have to spend it. To be loved, you have to love. Nothing grows in isolation. Giving multiplies receiving.
9. Slowing down speeds things up
The Navy Seals have a saying that I love: Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. In Aesop’s fable of the hare and the tortoise, the tortoise wins.
The Japanese have another way of saying it, too: “If you are in a hurry, go slowly. If you’re in an even bigger hurry, take a detour.”
Even in the race between Scott and Amundsen for the first successful expedition to the South Pole, the team that limited its speed to a sustainable level won.
10. The end is the beginning
I recently had surgery on my knee after I tore my meniscus. Overnight, many metaphorical doors closed around me. I couldn't walk, so I couldn’t exercise, swim, or spend time in my veggie garden. I had to sit my butt on the couch for six weeks and not move.
After a day or two of adjusting to my new normal, I quickly realised that I have a bunch of time to read books, listen to podcasts, take online courses, and puzzle. It showed me again that every closure creates space for something new. We just have to be open to adapting.
11. The self is an illusion, yet you must know yourself
Spiritual traditions teach that the “ego” isn’t the real self, but deep self-inquiry is the very path to transcend it. How’s that for a paradox?
“The ego is a social fiction for which there is no corresponding reality.” — Alan Watts
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” — Lao Tzu
12. You are both insignificant and infinite
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On a cosmic scale, a human life is tiny, yet each person contains limitless consciousness and meaning. I spend my life dancing between these two opposing states.
“Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. And between the two, my life flows.” ― Nisargadatta Maharaj
13. The closer you get to the truth, the less there is to say about it
There’s something ironic about trying to describe silence with noise. Sometimes words fall short. That’s why Lao Tzu said:
“Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.”
14. To find God, you must stop searching
Seeking keeps the divine at a distance; presence reveals it was never absent.
“Cease to seek and you will see.” — Zen saying
“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10
15. Time is an illusion, yet it is all we have
Eternity exists outside time, but our lives unfold moment by moment — and the moment is eternity itself. That’s the paradoxical nature of time in a nutshell.
It’s helpful to live in a world governed by time when we have to meet a friend at a restaurant at 4 pm on Wednesday. But time itself is “composed of nows,” as Emily Dickinson brilliantly pointed out. And now exists outside of time.
“The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” — Albert Einstein
Andy Murphy is a full-time writer and breathwork facilitator. His articles have received over half a million views across the internet. His mission is simple: to write and breathe a better world into existence.
