An Open Letter To The Men Who Couldn't Love Me Because Of My Weight

I can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly.

An Open Letter To The Men Who Couldn't Love Me Because Of My Weight Courtesy of the author/Ossiana Tepfenhart

Hey, you. It's been a while since we've seen each other — a hot minute, really.

You may remember me as the portly size 16-18 girl you rejected, calling me "not something you'd want to be seen with."

You might recall seeing a redhead who wanted to date you, only to be told by you that you "don't really date fat chicks." Or, you might remember me as the girl who burst into tears after you basically said that you'd need to be paid to be with me.


Or, if you're like a lot of the people who look at heavy chicks, you might not remember me at all.

You see, I realized something about you: You don't consider heavy chicks to be women. Actually, you don't even consider them people!

I don't fault you for turning down women because you aren't attracted to the way they look. What I do fault you for is telling them that they're fat.

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What I do fault you for is the fact that you tell them in a loud voice, in a crowded area, "No fat chicks."

What I do fault you for is the fact that you reject them in the most callous, heartless, and disgusting ways you can.


What I do fault you for is the fact that you're willing to sleep with them but not date them, just because you're too weak to stand up to society's expectations.

To you, heavy girls are nothing but punchlines, jokes that need to be made fun of.

To you, you honestly think women deserve to be humiliated by being told "no fat chicks" in a loud voice during a date.


You think it's your God-given right to make us hate our bodies more and more, every single day. You think that rejecting heavy women in the harshest, cruelest of ways is a perfectly acceptable way to boost your ego.

Well, the joke's on you, buddy.

You see, I lost the weight after my need for hormone therapy ended.

I lost the weight — not for you, but for me.

I lost the weight because I wanted to make sure I look good in the clothes I like to wear.

I lost the weight because, honestly, I kind of had to in order to be able to make my morning commute happen.

And, to a point, I lost the weight to show you what you missed out on.

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Every single heavy woman out there, with a few exceptions, can lose the weight. They can look like the Barbie dolls you want to screw. They can smear on makeup, wear wigs, get fake breasts, and God-knows-what-else you think that you, as a man with a penis, deserve to have in a partner.

If every single woman wanted to, they could present the beauty you so think you're owed. And you know what? Most of those women are beautiful already.

You, on the other hand, aren't beautiful. Even if you have a six-pack, even if you have a Hollywood-cleft chin, even if you have eyes that could be featured on the covers of magazines, you will never be beautiful.


You see, beauty isn't skin deep. Looks fade — and they fade for everyone. Real beauty remains when the body is no longer youthful.

It remains when you're 80 and people praise you for the wonderful human being you are. It remains when you leave a venue after making people feel better than they did before you met them.

And you, you don't have that beauty. Rather, you're hideous.

You're hideous because you make the world a worse place for people. You're appalling because you think people owe you beauty.

You're absolutely vile and worthless as a human being, not because you prefer thin people, but because you make a whole show of rejecting heavier people.


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You, as a human being, are viscerally revolting because of your entitled, bratty, and downright self-centered behavior.

You know what's the hilarious part about this all? When my looks fade, I'll still be a beautiful person. When the girls you hurt so badly get older, they'll still have people who want to be around them.


All photos courtesy of the author

Meanwhile, as you age, fewer and fewer people will ever want to be around you.

When you get older, no amount of money will save you from your ugliness. Even if you pay people to be around you, they will not like you. All they will do is just tolerate you, since you're their paycheck.


They will never, ever love you because people like you are too ugly on the inside to actually have someone stay with you out of love alone.

So, while the women who were chubby could lose the weight, make no mistake about it — you'll never lose what makes you ugly. And we're OK with that.

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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others. Follow her on Twitter for more.