10 Sad-But-True Signs He's Incapable Of Love

Photo: Oleg Elkov / shutterstock.com
10 Sad-But-True Signs He's Incapable Of Love

Love is something that everyone should be able to do, but some just can’t. No matter how much you try with some people, they will never be capable of love or even showing empathy to other people.

Men who can't love and are like this are only out there for themselves.

And the moment you become inconvenient, useless, or otherwise not interesting, they’re done with you. Or, worse still, they may actually just date you because hurting you or controlling you makes them feel better.  

What I’m saying is that these guys are bad news.

When I used to date, I often wanted to show guys who were like this that love was a real thing. But if you run into one of these people, you shouldn’t try to fix them. Trying to do so will only end with you being used, hurt, or even abused.

Sadly, there are a lot of men out there who are incapable of love. And these warning signs indicate that the guy you’re talking to may be one of them.

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1. He makes misogynistic comments around you, or you find out later on that he makes those kinds of comments to other people. 

If a man hates women or talks about seeing them as objects, I have news for you: He can't love you!

How can he love a person that he’s automatically written off as a member of a group he hates? The truth is, he can’t. He just can’t.

Going into a relationship with a guy who hates women will mean that he’ll always find fault with what you do, no matter how good to him you are. Leave guys like this alone — all they know is hate, and you don’t need that poison around you.

2. He has a history of abuse and cheating.

Some behaviors don’t change, ever. This is because the behaviors in question tend to be a part of that person’s character and moral fiber.

If he has a history and a reputation for cheating on women and abusing them, then that tells you volumes about his character. A man doesn’t do this to his partners if he loves them, and a leopard doesn’t change its spots.

3. He’s incredibly shallow.

After having seen the difference in the way men treat me after gaining and losing weight, I have become a firm believer that men who are exceedingly shallow aren’t capable of loving anyone but themselves.

This is especially true if he brags about “only dating hot women” and doesn’t seem to actually listen to you when you try to talk about yourself.

If you were to gain weight or lose those looks, who’s to say that they would still be interested in you? Chances are, he’d leave.

RELATED: Why You Keep Falling For Guys Who Don't Love You Back

4. People have a history of being used (then thrown away) by him.

If he uses other people for his own financial or social gain, who’s to say he won’t do the same with you?

You should never expect to be an exception when it comes to guys’ behavior. If the people that he surrounds himself with are people he wants to use, then he’s going to use you, too.

5. He’s got really bizarre views on dating that have no roots in reality.

A lot of men view love as a transaction, and that’s really not healthy. Men who have this transactional thinking tend to believe that every man is entitled to a girl and that buying dinner means that they are now entitled to sex.

Unfortunately, this kind of a disconnect makes it impossible for guys to actually see women as people. He can’t love you if he can’t see you as the person you are.

6. He sends unsolicited pictures.

Men who do this don’t see women as people because, if they did, they’d have more respect for themselves than to show them a photo like this out of the blue.

Ninety-nine percent of guys know that girls don’t like this. The ones that still do it just don’t care, and that means he’s incapable of empathy and is too selfish to care about manners.

RELATED: 10 Signs A Person Is Incapable Of Loving Someone

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7. He’s very self-centered.

There are a lot of things that being selfish can be good for, but love isn’t one of them.

Having dated a lot of selfish men, I can tell you that guys who only care for themselves are men who will basically expect you to be an accessory in his life rather than a partner. And with guys like this, once they decide you’re “out of season,” they’ll stop caring to keep up the relationship.

8. He refuses to take blame for anything that he did wrong. 

This just means he’s a bad person and he’s got problems you don’t want to touch. It also means that he’s incapable of the loving gesture of admitting he’s wrong when he actually is wrong.

9. He makes a point of telling you that he won’t be good to you. 

I’ve tried to date men who straight-up said they didn’t want to be in committed relationships, that they would cheat on me, and that they would hurt me.

Speaking from experience, I should have listened to their warning. When a man warns you about himself, listen.

10. There’s always an excuse.

He bailed on his pregnant baby mama because he “was too young to take that responsibility on.” He cheated on his ex because “she let go of herself.” He hit that one girl “because she deserved it.”

Men capable of love don’t make excuses for horrible behavior, because they don’t behave horribly. 

RELATED: 12 Sad Signs You're Emotionally Damaged & Are Too Broken To Love

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. She writes primarily about lifestyle, food, finance, and relationships. You can follow her Twitter.

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