Self

An Ode To The Women With Messy Hair And Imperfect Lives

Photo: puhhha / Shutterstock
woman with messy hair

When I was 11, I had a really terrible goal: to be perfect. 

In my mind, that meant having a spotless room, always looking put together, and being nice to everyone I was around. My old diary recently revealed this unpleasant part of my personal history that thankfully didn't last for more than a few days. 

Because even at 11, I realized that being perfect was impossible and chasing such a standard was nothing but a big, fat waste of time. 

I'm still preaching imperfection as an adult.

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There are days when my hair goes unbrushed and my bed goes unmade.

There are also days when I remember to do all my chores and my house could be on the cover of Martha Stewart Living. It's called balance. 

And let me tell you, the days that I check off every box on my to-do list are usually the more boring of days.

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Because let's face it: imperfection is way more fun. There's way less stress in not caring what other people think about you. It's a lot freeing to just do what you want. 

People love to criticize me for being "messy" or "not having my sh*t together." They try to make me feel like I'm doing something horribly wrong by not immediately folding my laundry when it's done in the dryer. 

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But my life doesn't revolve around other people's standards.

It never has, and it never will. It's a great mentality to have.

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My chores don't get done because I'm out chasing a story or working on my book. My hair didn't get brushed because I stayed up super late hanging out with my friends on the beach. Most of the time my car is full of sand and that's okay. Just because I'm not doing my dishes doesn't mean I'm not being productive. I'm making memories with my family and experiencing different things, 

There will be days when people think I have it together, but having it together is just some dumb illusion we need to let go of. You're never going to be perfect, so just embrace the mess that is life.

Because really, what your friends, family, and co-workers think about what you do doesn't really matter. You're the only person who has any control over your life. You're the only one you're trying to impress. 

So stop living for a standard that isn't yours. Stop holding yourself back for the sake of others. Stop trying so hard to be perfect.

Life is an adventure, and sometimes that means you don't have time to make your bed. Go out and live it. You can always make your bed later.

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Emily Blackwood is an editor at YourTango who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships, and everything in between.

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