The 5 Most Difficult Decisions You'll Ever Make, According To Experts

The beneficial results of a difficult decision can be increased by considering these expert tips.

Last updated on Oct 24, 2023

Woman making moves in her life to prioritize herself-- all alone against enemies, priority concept NoSystem images, Delmaine Donson, 101dalmatians | Canva

Substantial investments in yourself and your community usually get big payoffs, but life has no guarantees. However, we influence the future by the choices we make. Writing sentences like these causes a rush of anxiety when considering the power of the future we hold in our choices, so I know you must feel some anxiety about making a difficult decision.

Knowing the beneficial ways we sculpt the future with our choices can be the motivation for finally making a difficult decision and starting to move toward the future of your design.


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Here are the 5 most difficult decisions (with the biggest benefit) you can make, according to YourTango experts:

1. Choosing yourself first

Be selfish enough to put yourself first every single day. Even on the days when that choice will upset the people who feel like it's your job to meet their needs.


Loulou Palmer, Quantum Healing Hypnosis

2. Making the choice to forgive

A difficult decision, often accompanied by substantial benefits, is the choice to forgive. It's not an easy path to walk, but it brings immense liberation and healing. Forgiving someone, even when they've wronged you deeply, releases you from the heavy burden of resentment and anger. It grants you the freedom to move forward with a lighter heart and a peaceful mind. Ultimately, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, allowing you to reclaim your inner peace and happiness.

—​ Clare Waismann, M-RAS/ SUDCC II Counselor and Addiction Treatment Specialist

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3. Carving commitments in stone

Most people stay in their relationships far longer than is satisfying for them or their partner because they are afraid to lose what they have and unwilling to learn how to create a truly magnificent partnership, which requires skills and effort. Instead of learning to transform the relationship, people feel frustrated, disappointed, or angry. When someone is truly committed to creating a wonderful relationship, learning and evolving is the best way to find the joy and peace that is the common desire of most partners, and the commitment to learning how to create this is the most difficult decision they must make.

—​ Susan Allan, Relationship Coach

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4. Resolving to prioritize yourself

Prioritizing yourself. It sounds so simple, and the benefits are HUGE, but most of us don't do it. We have been trained to take care of everyone else first and make sure everyone else is happy and comfortable. Then, we have to take care of the tasks that have to be done, and maybe we'll consider paying attention to our needs. Except we never get to that step because everything else takes up so much time and energy.

If you decide to prioritize yourself and put your needs first - at least sometimes - you are making sure your cup gets filled. You are giving yourself the support you need to live a fulfilling life instead of just army-crawling through. And in case it needs to be said, you're worth it.


—​ Suzanne Manser, PhD Clinical Psychologist

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5. Staying authentic to yourself in the face of opposition

One of the most difficult decisions we face as humans is to act in ways that are authentic to us in the face of push-back, opposition, or direct opposition from others. Whether it is pursuing an unconventional career, dating someone other people don't like, dressing unconventionally, or something much bigger like getting divorced or changing your entire lifestyle, life is full of risk. It's often scary to take risks because we are often quite resistant to change. That said if the changes you want to make are authentic to you in a way that feels good. Then, it is often the best decision you can make. When in doubt, ask yourself what will happen if you change and what it will cost you if you don't. Those pivotal moments in life often lead to the most profound benefits.

—​ Dr. Cortney Warren, Board Certified Clinical Psychologist


Change will come as a natural state of being, and we are in flux. The decisions that come with change can have benefits reaching far into your future.

Keeping a level head about your choices while being firm in your decisions will maximize the potential benefits yet to come.

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Will Curtis is a writer and associate editor for YourTango. He's been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.