Mom Tells Daughter To Stop Complaining About Being 'Poor' Because She Chose To Be An Elementary School Teacher
She grew annoyed at her daughter's jealous remarks about everyone in their family being able to afford certain luxuries that she couldn't.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock A mom is wondering if she may have been in the wrong after telling her daughter the only reason she doesn't have much money is because she chose to be an elementary school teacher.
Posting to Reddit, the mom said that her 32-year-old daughter constantly complains about the luxuries everyone else has in her family, and after having had enough, her mother decided to set her straight.
A mom told her daughter to stop complaining about being 'poor' because she chose to be a teacher.
In her Reddit post, a mom, who is in her late 50s, wrote that she, her husband, and their three children, James, 34, Maggie, 33, and June, 32, all have careers that she's proud of. "My husband is a lawyer and I have been a paralegal since my last child graduated, so we make a good living. James is also a lawyer, same firm as his dad, and Maggie is now in law school after being a part-time paralegal while her two kids were young," she shared.
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June is her only child who went into a completely different field than the rest of her family, getting a job as an elementary school teacher while her husband is a restaurant manager. She acknowledged that she's proud of her daughter for working hard at her job. "However, she is always jealous and complaining about how hard she has it," she continued.
For instance, she recalled how many times June would complain about her parents having a cabin in Michigan while she had a starter home, despite her parents helping her buy it.
The mom said her daughter's constant complaints have made her siblings want to avoid her.
She constantly grumbles about her sister having nicer clothes than she does, her brother having a house on the lake, and her parents having nicer cars than she does. "Every time she comes over, she says things like, 'Must be nice to go on vacation,' [or] 'Must be nice to get new furniture,'" she wrote of her daughter's attitude.
"Last night she started again, complaining that she can't afford to go to the [cabin] and it 'Must be nice to be able to afford gas,' and 'Still be able to wear fancy clothes.'" Fed up with her daughter's negative comments, she finally snapped, telling June that she's sick of her complaining and that both she and June's dad have always helped her out in the same way that they do with her siblings.
"I told her I am very proud but she knew what she was getting into, and this attitude makes her family not want her around," she wrote. Since their confrontation, June hasn't spoken to her and accused her mom of treating her differently compared to her "golden siblings."
It's completely understandable why this woman's daughter would be unhappy with her teaching salary.
Many public school educators are not paid livable wages. According to the Economic Policy Institute, teachers make about 20% less than other college-educated workers with similar experience. "Inadequate pay is a long-standing issue for teachers," said Nick Kauzlarich of the Economic Policy Institute.
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To put it into perspective, a United Kingdom-based educator job site, Teaching Abroad, developed the Teaching Salary Index to measure the average teaching salary in the top 100 developed countries compared to the respective countries’ per capita gross domestic product, or GDP. The United States was among the many countries where teachers earn nearly $9,000 less than the local per capita GDP, which is a measure of the cost of goods and services. Basically, teachers don't make enough money to live.
There are also factors such as the cost of living, local tax revenues, and state funding formulas that play a role in determining salary levels. As a result, teachers in certain areas, particularly those in rural or economically disadvantaged communities, often face lower pay compared to their counterparts in wealthier districts. All of this plays a major role in why teacher shortages are becoming an epidemic in many districts across the U.S.
However, it's clear that this mom has done everything she can to mitigate the impact of her low teaching salary on her daughter, and it's that lack of accountability that has left many people siding with mom and not June.
Many people agreed that the mom was not in the wrong for criticizing her daughter's complaints.
"I understand why you snapped. I have been around people who are always making comments like that, and it's so draining. It starts to feel like you can't tell those people anything cause everything is a misery competition. If she is always being negative that can be hard to constantly walk around and ignore," one Reddit user wrote.
Another user added, "Her complaining isn’t a one-time thing, it’s her mindset. She is constantly comparing and becoming bitter in her comments. It’s exhausting to be around. Rather than let that develop, when you love someone you may need to gently point out she is in a situation of her own choosing."
It can definitely be frustrating to be a public school educator in America, especially with the lack of pay and the underappreciation of the profession; however, it's understandable that this mother would be fed up with hearing her daughter constantly complaining and making disparaging remarks to everyone in their family.
Perhaps Mom's criticism was a little harsh, but she certainly wasn't wrong. We all make decisions when we choose our career paths and they shouldn't be made without research. One of those things to research is salary. It's no secret that teachers work very hard for very little. She made a choice to go into education, and that choice meant foregoing the same lifestyle as her lawyer siblings.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
