Mom Calls The Idea That 'Women Can Have It All' The Biggest Con There Is
She claimed that her responsibilities and financial stress make it impossible to find a moment peace.
kryzhov | Shutterstock There's nothing easy about juggling motherhood, financial stress, and work responsibilities. It's overwhelming, and many women agree that it's nearly impossible not to lose your sanity in the process.
One mom is in the thick of things and admitted in a recent Reddit post that she is fed up with the narrative that women can have it all if they just try hard enough. "As someone who worked in education and nannied previously, I thought doing this would be a walk in the park," she confessed, "but it's SO HARD and I feel so inept all the time."
The mom called the idea that 'women can have it all' the biggest con there is.
"I have two kiddos and a dog, and my husband and I work full time," she shared. "It sucks. I love my kids, but I never envisioned staying home, and both of them seem to want to put daycare through the wringer."
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She explained that she and her husband are "incredibly poor" because of the high cost of childcare. Unfortunately, they're not the only family that has found themselves in this position. According to a report by tax firm KPMG, the cost of child care in the U.S. is rising at nearly double the pace of overall inflation. Add to that wage stagnation, and it's easy to see why many families are in dire straits.
On top of the stress-inducing cost of day care, the mom is also fed up with the day-to-day of parenthood.
"[We're] very stressed because we are trying to keep our cool around an almost 4-year-old with intense meltdowns and a newly abled 11-month-old that wants to crawl everywhere and put everything in his mouth," she said, admitting that parenthood is far more difficult than she imagined.
It seems that this mom is parenting in survival mode, and she's far from alone. YourTango staff writer Alexandra Blogier noted that parents who feel constantly stressed, are overwhelmed with negative thoughts, are easily triggered, and feel resentful are likely parenting in survival mode.
There's a serious mental health crisis happening with mothers.
A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association revealed that 48% of parents say most days their stress is completely overwhelming, compared to 26% of childfree adults who reported the same. Of course, dads are also stressed, but research shows that moms are still the go-to parent, adding to the pressure.
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Mothers are overwhelmingly expected to handle more household and invisible labor. No matter how busy their personal and professional lives may be, they're expected to drop everything to help their children, even if they have equally capable partners. In fact, according to a Gallup survey, 66% of moms say they’re the parent expected to address childcare crises, compared to just 22% of dads. Moms who juggle personal and professional responsibilities daily are also 81% more likely to experience burnout than those who don’t.
Based on this data and the countless stories from moms who feel overwhelmed and stressed out, it's no wonder that many of them, including this Redditor, believe that the idea that women can have it all is nothing more than a scam.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
