Mom Reveals The Names Gen Alpha Kids Think Are For 'Old People' — & Millennials Are Not Gonna Like It
Prepare to get your feelings hurt, Ashleys and Amandas!
Dmytro Zinkevych, Stock Appeal / Shutterstock.com | Canva ProWhen you think of "old people names," you probably think of things like Mabel and George — names your grandparents or the old lady down the street would have had, right?
Well, here's some news for you, millennial parents: In the eyes of the youth, you are now that old lady up the block, at least as far as your name is concerned. Brace yourself, Grandma!
A mom revealed the millennial names that Gen Alpha kids think are for 'old people.'
Barbara, Linda, and, of course, that name that strikes terror into the hearts of so many — Karen — these are the names we typically think of nowadays when it comes to old ladies. Or how about Chester, Arthur, or Albert for the grandpas among us?
But a mom and TikToker named Amber, known as @ciaoamberc on the app, has news for us adults. We may have spent our child-rearing years giving our kids ancient names like Hazel and Ezra, but the tables have turned.
Amber is the mother of a tween daughter — named, in true millennial fashion, Scarlett — and she recently got quite a lesson in what Gen Alpha's equivalent of a Mavis or a Pauline is.
Her Gen Alpha daughter told her names like Ashley and Erica are 'old people's names.'
If you're gasping in horror, you're not alone, even if this should be intuitive. We all thought our parents' names were old and dorky as kids, too, right?
My mom's name is Carol and I still to this day think that is the quintessential boomer woman's name. If "Karen" hadn't been seized on first as the go-to moniker for cranky older women with a penchant for calling the cops and insulting restaurant workers, you couldn't do much better than Carol!
Still, Amber's video is nothing short of jarring if you're of a certain age. "The other day, my daughter told me the name Ashley or Amanda — or my name is Amber — are like old people names," she said.
"She's like, yeah, my teacher's names are like Miss Erica, Miss Samantha," she went on to say. "There's Amandas and Ashleys and she's like, those are just old people names."
According to an analysis done by baby naming website Nameberry, those are indeed among the most popular names for girls born during the millennial generation, roughly between 1982 and 2004.
Jessica, Brittany, Sarah, Emily, Lauren — if you've got one of these names it's pretty likely Gen Alpha thinks you have an old lady name too. Men don't escape this either, of course — looking at you, Michael, Justin, Daniel, and Ryan. Sorry old man, time for the old folks' home!
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
And it's definitely not just Amber's daughter. "My daughter told me a kid in her class has a dad name," one mom commented. "Kid's name is Josh."
"My son's principal is Kyle, his teacher is Chad, a different teacher is Tiffany and the secretary is Samantha," another mom wrote. "I cannot!"
Millennials, on the other hand, have largely chosen names for their Gen Alpha kids that seem like 'old people names' to us.
Adding to the silliness of this is that millennials have made giving their kids old-fashioned names — or at least what used to be thought of as old-fashioned names — almost an article of faith. How many millennials do you personally know with a son named Henry, for instance?
Amber used her own daughter and her friends as perfect examples. "My daughter is Scarlett," she said, going on to list her classmates. "There's Charlotte, there's Olivia, there's Penelope …"
Name website Listophile actually primed the depths of Social Security Administration data to figure out the most popular baby names since 2010, the first year of Gen Alpha.
And though there are a lot of really odd name choices (Sevyn? Paisleigh?), a lot of them read like a who's who of the old folks you'd have found playing shuffleboard with your grandparents in Boca back in the '80s.
We're talking names like Opal, Cleo, and Hattie, for women, and Archie, Amos, and Otis, for men. Yes, there are children actually named Opal running around thinking Ashley is an old lady's name. The mind reels.
Photo: jonas mohamadi / Pexels
This is all part of the circle of life, of course, but that doesn't make stories like that of a TikTok commenter whose suggestion of Gertrude for a "grandma name" was vetoed by a Gen Alpha student in favor of, brace yourself, Nicole, any less jarring.
But take heart, Jessica and Ryan; names are cyclical. So, all these names Gen Alpha thinks are for old people will one day be fashionable again, a whole new generation of Ashleys and Justins who'll think all of today's Hazels and Ezras are hopelessly ancient and uncool — and balance will finally be restored to the universe. Phew!
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice, and human interest topics.