9 Simple Mindset Shifts That Instantly Make You A Better, More Compassionate Human, According To Psychology
Small shifts in thinking that will dramatically boost your kindness.
Elise Wilcox | Unsplash Life’s too short to go around being a harsh judge. Sure, some of the stuff many people do is downright dumbo dumb. And I do believe there’s a place for boundaries and not agreeing with everything the world foists on us. It’s safety.
But, when we stew in our frustration with others, the person who loses out the most in the end? You, buddy. Over the years of stress, I learned that life gets far easier when we can develop the compassionate part in us. Not from a place of weakness, but total strength. Research indicates that mindset shifts involve changing underlying beliefs and assumptions about oneself and the world.
Here are nine simple mindset shifts that instantly make you a better, more compassionate human, according to psychology:
1. Assume a wider context
Most people see random poor behavior. The father who snapped at his child? He’s fighting a battle you might be missing. Train yourself to spot pain’s context, not just its symptoms.
Research emphasizes the importance of considering the wider context in understanding human behavior, perception, and decision-making. This perspective recognizes that individuals are not isolated entities but rather are embedded within complex social, cultural, and environmental systems that shape their thoughts, feelings, and actions.
2. Understand the power of thoughts
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Here’s an idea from a mentor that helped me drop my general frustration for others by over 70%, pretty much overnight: ‘We’re all just doing the best we can given the thinking we have moment by moment.’
We behave based not on our realities but on our thoughts. This applies to you, too. You did things you regretted, but they felt the right thing to do at the time because of your thinking. It’s a great way to forgive yourself and others, and uncover the warmth of compassion you have for everyone.
3. Get curious
Instead of judging someone’s results, get curious about their process. This isn’t about thinking, ‘Why can’t they do it?’ It’s about asking the deeper questions: ‘What’s making this hard for them?’ Even if you don’t know the full answer, your compassionate mind will kick in, fending off any judgey conclusions.
Curiosity enhances learning and memory, promotes psychological flexibility, and fosters deeper social relationships. A 2015 study indicated that it also contributes to improved mental health, including higher levels of positive emotions and reduced anxiety.
4. Remember your mistakes
Next time you’re about to fuss about someone else’s choices, just think back real quick to the dumb decisions you made in your life. Humans aren’t without flaws, and neither are you (you’re a human, too, by the way).
5. Master the reframe reflex
Your brain’s first interpretation of some moment is rarely compassionate. That’s a survival instinct. But your second thought after taking a breath?
That’s your superpower. It’s your deeper mind talking. Practice instant reframing. For example, ‘They’re not lazy, they’re exhausted.’
6. Collect hero origin stories
Everyone who irritates you is the hero of their own story. You gotta find it. That insufferable colleague? They might be the first in their family to graduate. That slow cashier? Maybe they’re working three jobs.
Maybe you just have to make it up in your head. You design how you respond. Everyone can be a hero in some form.
Hero origin stories provide a narrative framework that helps individuals find meaning in their lives. An American Psychological Association (APA) study explained that this sense of control and self-determination links to improved mental health and resilience.
7. Ask questions
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Division stems from a lack of understanding. That’s not to say we can’t do stupid or bad things. But when we lack understanding, we struggle to be compassionate, making us sour-faced anger zombies.
So ask questions. Why are they the way they are? The more you know, the more you’ll find a natural love rise.
8. Use the time machine test
Would your future self be proud of your present reaction? Would your past self need the compassion you’re withholding from others? Time gives perspective. Use it.
9. Watch how you respond to reading this
Yes, this very article. Is it pulling at you emotionally? If so, you can see the power of compassion. You can feel its healing power right now as you read this. Isn’t that enough to know it’s always the right choice?
Research using brain imaging has shown that compassion activates areas associated with pleasure, empathy, and reward. Compassion has been linked to reduced stress, anxiety, and depression.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
