Man Shows Up To First Date With His Mom To 'Save Time'
Okay… that's certainly one way to do things…
pixelfit | Getty Images Signature | Canva Pro We've all heard that Gen Zers have a tendency to be a bit too close to their parents, but leaning on them in a job interview is one thing. Bringing them to a date? Quite another. But that's what one woman on Reddit said happened to her, and it left her slack-jawed, confused, and wondering what to even think about the encounter.
A man showed up to a first date with his mom, to 'save time.'
There are a gazillion Gen Z stereotypes, but one of the few that seems to actually be true is the one about being entirely too reliant on their parents. One 2024 study found that a full 20% of Gen Z job applicants have brought mom or dad to a job interview with them. Which is weird. Guys, that's weird. Please stop doing this.
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But it's nowhere near as weird as rocking up to a first date with your mom on your arm, which goes well beyond helicopter parenting to something that feels downright Oedipal. Everything was going fine before the date, the woman wrote in her Reddit post about her date, Kevin. "Texting was fun, he was sweet, he didn’t give off serial killer energy." Sounds like a keeper!
"He suggested this cute cafe downtown and I thought, okay, cool, simple, low-pressure," so she showed up, ordered a coffee, and grabbed them a table, full of nervous energy. "Then I see him walk in… with another woman." His mommy.
He told her that his mom approves of all his dates anyway, so he brings her along.
Boy mom alert! At first, the Redditor assumed the woman must be his sister, or friend, or "coworker who randomly needed a ride" — any other possible explanation than the one that quickly became apparent.
"He walks right up, gives me a hug, and goes, 'This is my mom! I figured she’d love to meet you!'" Uhhhh, what?! "I laughed because I thought he was joking." Oh, if only. Instead, his mom took a seat at the table and started peppering her with questions.
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She kept waiting for the moment his mom would leave, but it never came. "Kevin says, 'Yeah, we always do this. My mom gives me vibes on girls I date. It saves time.' I choked on my latte." Yeah, I would expect you did because this is actively insane!
But not as insane as his response when she abruptly ended the date and left. "Kevin texted me later calling me 'disrespectful' and said I didn’t give him or his mom 'a fair chance.'" Kevin, brother, I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this: THE DATE WASN'T FOR YOUR MOM AND THIS IS DEEPLY WEIRD.
Studies have shown that Gen Z's parental relationships are often detrimental.
The term "helicopter parent" has been around far longer than Gen Z has, but the parents of this generation seem to have perfected the concept. There are indicators all over the place: bringing parents to job interviews, moms who move into their kids' college dorms, professors who are now making basic life skills like how to make a phone call part of college curricula, and on and on and on.
The combination of overprotection, overinvolvement, and doing too much is having very real-world implications for Gen Z on everything from their social skills to their mental health. A 2022 study found a strong correlation between helicopter parenting and Gen Z's soaring rates of depression and anxiety, in part because helicopter parenting tends to leave kids riddled with self-doubt. It's hard to feel confident, after all, when you've never been allowed to learn from hardship.
Studies have also shown that this kind of overinvolvement literally hinders the development of executive functions in kids' brains, which is surely one reason why this young man brings his mom to his first dates (the other being her obvious pathological control issues).
Some mental health professionals believe helicopter parenting is also contributing to the epidemic levels of estrangement between young people and their parents these days because of the resentment it causes.
As sad as it is (since the young man in question here seems to have some form of Stockholm Syndrome with his wildly inappropriate mother), this young woman has probably dodged a bullet. A person this reliant on and compliant with their mother isn't ready for much of anything in life, let alone a serious relationship.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
