If A Man Says These 4 Phrases, He's Likely A Low-Quality Person
Daniel Schaffer | Unsplash Guys play women for fools. It happens. And it usually happens that women are too ignorant to realize it, too wimpy to confront it, or just find it easier to coast along. But there are certain phrases men use that are almost always lies and suggest that a man is a low-quality person.
And when he uses them, he's playing you for a fool, and banking on you being too dumb to realize the truth. It's not fair to you. It's not good boyfriend behavior, and frankly, it should call for a serious reevaluation of the relationship — not the thing itself, but the fact that he lied about it. Being taken for a fool means he doesn't respect you, and that's a serious problem.
If a man says these 4 phrases, he's likely a low-quality person:
1. 'I just have to work late again'
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See if he's working on some big project you can independently verify. If you can't, then ask yourself: Why is he always in the office after quitting time? "I have to work late" is the most common excuse for cheaters. They know you can't easily question their work habits, and that you have to rely on their word for what they're up to.
But chances are, he isn't working late — he could bring that work home — and he's seeing someone else on the side. This is especially true if he always comes home saying he ate dinner. They might order out some nights, but not all of them.
Being away from a partner and unusual stress create perfect opportunities for cheating. Studies on infidelity found that people who stray often use vague excuses about work to cover up what they're really doing.
2. 'That lipstick on my collar is yours'
This is the biggest low-quality lie he can throw at you. Examine the lipstick. Doesn't match any shade you own, does it? Lipstick is almost impossible to get out, and he probably didn't want to waste a good dress shirt. He figured you wouldn't notice, and if you did, he could pawn the smear off on you. Not. If there's lipstick on his collar, it's someone else's, and you need to confront him immediately.
Gaslighting research shows that denying obvious facts is a manipulation tactic designed to make you doubt what you can clearly see with your own eyes. When someone insists you're wrong about physical evidence right in front of you, they're trying to mess with your head so you'll stop trusting your own judgment.
3. You gave me that hickey'
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You probably don't regularly give hickeys, because you're not in high school. Hickeys also only last a few days. Mistresses regularly give hickeys, because even though they're so high school, they mark a man as your own. He's cheating on you, girlfriend.
Studies on gaslighting show that cheaters often flat-out deny things even when caught red-handed, then flip it around to make you feel like you're the crazy one. This deny-then-attack pattern is textbook manipulation designed to dodge accountability for sketchy behavior.
4. 'I'm just going to the club to watch'
Even if your guy's getting dragged along to a bachelor party and has no intention of doing anything other than drinking, his friends will get him a lapdance because he's a prude and it's funny. If he says he's just going to watch, he's lying.
Research on bachelor party behavior shows these places are built around way more than just watching dancers on stage from afar. Lap dances and physical contact are the norm, and guys at bachelor parties routinely buy dances for their buddies whether they want them or not.
Nobody wants to think their partner is lying to them. But if you're hearing these phrases on repeat, your gut is probably trying to tell you something important: He's a low-quality person. You deserve someone honest, who doesn't make you second-guess what you know to be true, and who treats your relationship with respect. The right person won't leave you constantly questioning their whereabouts or making excuses that never quite make sense.
Alissa Scully is a freelance writer and frequent contributor to YourTango who focuses on dating and relationships.
