Man Insists His 'Unemployed' Girlfriend Should Be Doing More Chores Around The House But She Says She's Not His 'Housekeeper'

He claimed that since she has all this time on her hands, she should be doing some of his chores as well.

couple arguing while sitting on couch at home Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

A man has been accused of being immature and lazy after admitting that his girlfriend hasn't been doing more chores now that she's out of a job.

Posting to the subreddit "r/AITA," he claimed that he expected his girlfriend to pick up the slack on household responsibilities since he's now the only one in their relationship with a full-time job.

He insisted that his 'unemployed' girlfriend should do more chores around the house.

In his Reddit post, he explained that he and his girlfriend split the rent on their apartment and shared everything equally. The bills are paid 50/50, along with all of their other necessities. While he has a lucrative job in engineering, his girlfriend works in healthcare.


Since his girlfriend went to medical school, she recently finished her residency and has two months to go before she starts her first job, which means she will be working under the supervision of other doctors at a hospital. He said his girlfriend was just enjoying life before starting work at the hospital. 

Man Claims His Unemployed Girlfriend Should Be Doing More ChoresPhoto: ViDI Studio / Shutterstock


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"She’s spending her mornings studying for her new job but also reading, watching Netflix, going to the gym, and for runs with her dog, etc.," he wrote. "However, she hasn’t started contributing more to the household. I mean, she still cooks and cleans every day, but she still expects me to wash the dishes, and she won’t pick up my clothes after I have returned from work."

He recalled that recently, his girlfriend left some of his mail on the table unopened, and when he asked why she didn't look through it, she reminded him that she was his partner, not his secretary. It's also not her responsibility to open his personal mail, read it, and divide it into appropriate categories for him to see.

He's a grown man, and just because she has extra time on her hands doesn't mean that she needs to become his caretaker. 


She reminded him she wasn't his 'housekeeper' and shouldn't be responsible for cleaning up.

"I have been hinting that she should be picking up more chores now that she’s unemployed, but she says that she’s not my housekeeper," he continued. She reminded him that she already does more than half of the chores, and since his workload hasn't increased, he should still be able to do his share.

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As it is, women already tend to take on more around the house than their counterparts, especially in heterosexual relationships.

According to the Pew Research Center, most women (59%) do more household chores than their spouse or partner, while 6% say their spouse or partner does more. Among men, 46% say these responsibilities are shared equally, while 20% say they do more, and 34% say their spouse or partner does more.


Man Claims His Unemployed Girlfriend Should Be Doing More ChoresPhoto: fizkes / Shutterstock

He argued that while his girlfriend was right, he could do more around the house; he was just too tired after work. 

She annoys him because she wants to enjoy her tiny break from work, but she didn't spend years in medical school just to be someone's live-in maid, which she made sure to point out to him.


She shouldn't have to be diminished or exploited just because she's choosing to have a bit of self-care before the demanding schedule of working in the healthcare field takes over. Soon, she'll be spending hours upon hours away from the apartment, and when she does return, she'll most likely be too exhausted to even cook herself a full meal, much less do anything else.

She has every right to prioritize her well-being and self-care during this transition period. This tiny break before the demands of her profession should be respected and supported by her boyfriend instead of being used as justification for the supposed unequal completion of household responsibilities.

He's more than welcome to hire a housekeeper if he doesn't want to pull his weight. After all, a healthy relationship, especially where two people are living together, shouldn't rely on gendered expectations of the other person. Each individual should be doing their fair share and feel both valued and respected in their respective spaces.


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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.