Little Girls Who Grew Up Being Praised For Their Beauty Usually Have 7 Issues As They Get Older
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV / Shutterstock The things that we get affirmations for as children can have a surprisingly strong influence on how we see ourselves over time.
As we grow up, the compliments we receive from our parents or teachers can shape aspects of our adult lives in ways that neither we nor they think about much at the time. If a child is frequently told they read more than most, they might begin to have greater confidence in their ability to pick up information. That confidence could even push them to become an accomplished researcher as an adult. If another kid is called a troublemaker, they might believe this is who they are and not change their behavior because they don't see any point in doing so.
And while people may think that little girls who grow up being praised by just about everyone they meet for their physical beauty must have it easy in life, the truth is often far more complicated. As they get older, they develop expectations and thought patterns that continue to affect them.
Those little girls who grew up being praised for their beauty often deal with these difficult issues as they get older
1. Feeling pressure to maintain her appearance
Many women feel pressure from the world about getting older, including the need to maintain their beauty. This is because our society often tells us that the ideal woman is supposed to be youthful and pretty.
This can be an even bigger stressor to women who were always told they were beautiful when they were younger. As they age, they might feel that they have lost the youthful glow that made everyone compliment them as a child. If a woman believes her beauty is her greatest attribute, she will likely feel pressure to maintain it.
Without confidence in other areas, these women can worry that if they lose their looks, they will lose their worth. This causes some women to spend an excessive amount of time and money to maintain their physical appearance as they age.
2. Thinking she is dumb
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When beauty is the only thing that a girl grows up hearing she is good at, she might not realize she’s good at other things. If she were never told she was smart, she might worry that she isn’t intelligent.
Without encouragement from those around her to give her confidence in her intelligence, that little girl might believe there’s no point in trying. Her defeatist attitude can make her stop trying. A child who isolates themselves from learning will probably face the consequences of that later on.
As a grown woman, she might fail to learn basic concepts and have less understanding of the world than other adults around her. Without the encouragement that she’s smart, young girls can end up taking away their chances of becoming smart women.
3. Being financially dependent on others
I don’t know about you, but marrying a rich man doesn’t sound too bad to me. Many women want that. While some people like to call this gold-digging, it’s more scientific than that. It’s a part of our biology.
Women typically look for partners who can support a future family. In humanity’s caveman days, that would have been the strongest man capable of protecting them. In our world, money is everything. Some women can end up relying on a wealthy man for financial support and stop earning money on their own.
Beautiful women often have an easier time getting the attention of that kind of man. While relying on a partner to support your family isn’t always a bad thing, when a woman relies on her beauty for financial security, she can lose some of her financial independence. She becomes reliant on a man to provide her with what she needs.
If her man becomes controlling about how she spends the money he gives her, it can make her feel like less of an adult. She might feel like she doesn’t have the freedom to make her own choices as a grown woman in society.
4. Feeling insecure
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It might seem a little twisted that girls who are always told they’re beautiful can grow up to be insecure. Still, putting too much emphasis on one area can make us obsessed with it.
When a girl feels that the best thing about herself is her looks, she might latch onto her appearance as a way to find confidence in her early years, hyperfixating on the details of her face or hair. When we become hyperaware of something, we start to notice small things that others probably won't pick up on. These girls often notice every little imperfection and feel insecure about it, focusing exclusively on what they don’t like about themselves. This ultimately makes them feel less confident about their looks.
5. Body-image issues
Beauty has often been described as a double-edged sword. Oftentimes, people who put too much pressure on their physical appearance end up struggling with mental health issues. Women who think their appearance is their greatest asset will probably face the same pressure.
When we are told we are skilled at something, we typically feel pressured to be even better at it to keep up that perception. While beauty isn't necessarily a skill, this can still be true. Many beautiful women end up comparing themselves to others known for their beauty.
Social media has made this worse. With photo-editing tools, people can make themselves look skinnier or curvier. This causes some women to strive to look the same, even though the pictures could be edited and unrealistic. It's led to many women facing issues with their bodies.
Some women stop focusing on their health to look like the people they see on social media. They might even deprive themselves of the nutrients their body needs, causing their mental health issues to become physical health issues as well.
6. Limiting their self-expression
Most people are usually put in a kind of box by others around them, like being the smart guy or the fashionable friend. It helps people sort others more easily and categorize their relationships. In childhood, this can be even more apparent.
Children don't understand the world yet. This kind of categorization can help kids grasp how different people work before they are ready to learn the nuances of people's personalities. Some people carry this identity with them into adulthood. They can feel pressured to maintain their self-perception and force themselves to act more in line with how others see them.
When women think that the metaphorical box they are put in is beauty, they often do the same thing. They might restrain themselves from being messy to maintain their perfect appearance. Maybe they feel pressured to keep up with the latest trends for the same reason. This limits them from acting or dressing the way they really want, or from expressing themselves in the ways that make them unique.
7. Relationship challenges
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If a woman is beautiful, hearing other people praise her looks probably won’t stop after childhood. She'll likely continue to receive compliments for her beauty as an adult.
Some men get into relationships with beautiful women for the wrong reasons. These men tend to put more of an emphasis on looks than on other qualities when choosing a romantic partner. Men like this struggle to look below the surface and see who their girlfriend really is. If the woman thinks that is the only reason a man likes her, she may begin to feel insecure about her personality. She might also feel like nobody sees her for who she is. This can be terribly isolating if she’s in the relationship for a genuine connection.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
