If A Man Has No Close Friends, He'll Often Develop These 11 Distinct Habits
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV | Shutterstock In the thick of a “male loneliness epidemic” where most young men are feeling isolated without communities, belonging, and friendships to lean on, it’s not surprising that many people have normalized the habits they use to cope. From downplaying his feelings to overemphasizing productivity at work to stay busy, if a man has no close friends, he’ll often develop these distinct habits, and most people find a way to justify them, even when they’re draining.
This trend of loneliness is one of the reasons why men often “need” relationships with women more than their partners, according to therapist Charlie Huntington. While women often have space for vulnerability and emotional support in their female friendships, men struggle in the face of social norms and stigmas to lean into that meaning in their platonic relationships.
If a man has no close friends, he’ll often develop these 11 distinct habits
1. He uses humor to deflect vulnerability
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Men are socialized by parents, society, and stigmas from a young age to equate vulnerability with “weakness.” They believe that their truest, strongest “masculine” identity comes from control, emotional coldness, and hyper-independence when, in reality, it’s actually vulnerability that allows them to feel important, seen, and meaningful.
When emotions and suppressed feelings do come up in conversations and they’re forced to have deep conversations, they’re quick to use humor to deflect. While these conversations and tactics lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications that sabotage deep social connections, they feel a bit more in control, and a lot more lonely.
2. He relies on busyness as a distraction
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Especially considering job security is a huge priority for young men and an easy way to justify busyness and overworked schedules, many lonely individuals will use it as an excuse. If they’re tired of overthinking and feeling vulnerable when they’re at home, they’ll fill their schedules with obligations and distractions that quickly drain them.
They work late to avoid the quietness of their alone time and tolerate superficial interactions with acquaintances and work colleagues, all to cope with an underlying feeling of emotional turmoil and loneliness.
3. He self-isolates when he’s stressed
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Despite what most people believe, a study from the University of Arizona found that solitude alone isn’t enough to provoke feelings of loneliness and isolation in men. In fact, it’s usually the lack of social connection and vulnerability that makes men feel lonely, not necessarily their solitude. For most people, spending time alone and being comfortable with their own company is actually essential to their well-being, with the right balance.
Men who don’t have close friends to support them through hardship or listen to their emotions without judgment often self-isolate in unhealthy ways. They worry about maintaining a certain image, dismiss and invalidate their own problems, and hide their stress to feel “strong.”
However, the emotional suppression this causes is detrimental to personal well-being, both when he returns to the social world and when he’s caring for himself at home.
4. He spends too much time on his phone
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While scrolling can offer a fleeting sense of connection with the world, men need strong platonic relationships in person to feel more like themselves. The authenticity that comes from scrolling online and following trends is often misguided. It encourages people to perform for likability and curate their identity, rather than leaning into what feels good through self-reflection and connection.
However, men who don’t have close friends often feel forced to doomscroll to cope. They need a way to feel belonging, even if it’s fleeting and misguided, and distractions to avoid facing their loneliness. While it might feel comforting in the moment, a study from Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine argues that higher levels of screen time almost always lead to more loneliness, keeping them stuck in a cycle of isolation.
5. He becomes overly independent
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Men are often socialized from a young age to equate internal strength with self-reliance and control in their lives. However, social connection and relying on others for support are what bring meaning and joy to our lives, and without them, we’re often stuck in a cycle of loneliness we use misguided coping mechanisms and habits to face.
According to relationship coach Annie Tanasugarn, when men get caught in this cycle of isolation, their hyper-independence becomes a trauma response. They’ve been forced to believe that control comes from being alone, even when it adds pressure, stress, and unnecessary loneliness to their lives.
6. He substitutes emotional intimacy with physical touch
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According to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men are often driven by partner attractiveness and physical affection more so than emotional intimacy and vulnerability. It’s not because they’re shallow, despite what discourse suggests, but because they’ve been socialized to avoid emotional openness in favor of control, “strength,” and a masculine self-image.
When men don’t have close friends, they often double down on this need for physical intimacy, chasing the feeling of being seen and validated. From temporary flings to fleeting situationships focused on physicality, it’s possible that what they’re actually hoping for subconsciously is a male friendship where they can feel important and valuable.
7. He overspends on material things
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Many people use spending as a coping mechanism to feel the sense of control they lack over emotions or life in general. Especially for men, who are socialized without opportunities to practice emotional regulation, they may try to “optimize” their lives for comfort, instead of leaning into vulnerability that brings friendships and relationships into focus.
Of course, this misguided coping mechanism also puts their financial stability at risk, as nearly 75% of emotional shoppers suggest that it's led to impulsivity and overspending. Even though spending gives them a boost of happiness and a sense of control, it only leads to guilt and feelings of loneliness when they’re surrounded by a heap of material things instead of close friends and loved ones.
8. He watches comfort movies and TV shows often
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Men who don’t have close friendships in their lives often adopt distinct habits like watching comfort movies and TV in their downtime. While screen time on its own amplifies their loneliness and struggle, the stories and “connections” they also indulge in boost their mood and allow them to feel a fleeting sense of belonging and validation.
According to a study from Frontiers in Psychology, this kind of media “escapism” is a common coping mechanism for people feeling isolated and lonely, because it allows them to identify with characters and feel validated for emotions, even when they don’t have close friends or loved ones around. It essentially makes them feel closer to people, even if they’re all fictional.
9. He overindulges in toxic content online
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While the “manosphere” industry online profits off of men’s insecurities and misleading, toxic masculinity expectations, it often leaves lonely men feeling even more isolated.
While it might make them feel validated for the social norms and identities they’ve cultivated and been taught to embrace, it’s these same mentalities that exacerbate misogyny, push good relationships away, and keep their mental well-being in a chronically tumultuous, angry state.
From falling into toxic communities on the internet to feeling parasocial belonging with men like Andrew Tate, they end up even more resentful, angry, and isolated from this coping mechanism than before, because they’re pressured to deflect blame, avoid their emotions, and maintain control, even when it condemns them to isolation.
10. He leans heavily on nostalgia
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Many people cling to the past as a coping mechanism when the present and future feel impossible to navigate. Whether it’s loneliness, grief, or sadness, people who feel too overwhelmed to sit with emotions in the present rely on the past for a sense of comfort or distraction.
From flipping through photo albums to revisiting old relationships they’ve outgrown over and over again, men with no close friends often have distinct habits that ensure they’re connected to the past and their nostalgia, even in unhealthy ways.
11. He avoids celebrating his accomplishments
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When birthdays roll around or he accomplishes something, the things that typically bring people together and bolster celebrations, lonely men often feel their isolation magnify. The more they accomplish and have things to celebrate, the more they’re aware of their lack of friendships and community.
That’s part of the reason why men with no close friends tend to hide their success and self-isolate when they’re feeling big emotions. They become so acquainted with loneliness and suppression that even the good parts of life start to feel a little bit more dim.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
