3 Essential Steps Practical People Use To Not React Emotionally
Having emotional outbursts is not a good look.
@justaskjefferson / TikTok, SergioZA24 / Shutterstock If you’re like most people, it’s hard to manage your emotions when you feel angry or sad. That inability to control your emotions can cause you to react impulsively, and those emotional outbursts can lead to unintended long-term repercussions.
But people who are highly emotionally intelligent know that emotional regulation is essential to having self-control when you feel intense emotions. The power to choose how you react when you have negative emotions or positive emotions lies in your hands, whether you have used it or not.
It is totally possible to learn how to be less emotionally reactive, no matter how overwhelming your feelings are.
What does it mean to be emotionally reactive?
Being emotionally reactive can be detrimental to your mental health because it means you are overreactive in a negative way to things that are normal occurrences. Your strong emotions are a result of stress, anxiety, a lack of internal resources, or a disorder of your emotional processes.
You don’t have the emotional strength to keep your reactions in check. Everyone has the ability to feel anger, but if you are emotionally reactive, your emotional responses are over the top and don’t fit the situation at hand.
People who overreact are usually offended by the smallest perceived slight, disproportionately upset, self-righteous, abrasive, defensive, and prone to rage or outbursts at the most miniscule provocation.
The good news is that you have the ability to not react emotionally when given the proper tools. Texas Lawyer Jeff Fisher shared three steps you can use to control your emotions when they are triggered.
How To Be Less Emotionally Reactive
1. Identify your triggers.
Fisher started by telling viewers, “What triggers you teaches you, and there’s a lesson in everyone.”
He went on to say that the first step in becoming less emotionally reactive is to identify your triggers. “You can’t just get mad because somebody is pushing your buttons,” said Fisher.
You have to ask yourself why there is a button and where your feelings come from.
2. Have the courage to spend time with your triggers.
The next step takes some bravery on your part. Fisher wants you to sit with your triggers and spend time with them.
The goal here is to take the trigger you have identified and find the perfect word or phrase to name it. That word is tied to the underlying reason you are triggered and might be "self-doubt," "condescension," or "disregard," for example.
3. Put a boundary around your trigger.
The last thing to do is set up boundaries around that trigger. That means you are clear with people, telling them that certain behaviors trigger you and you’d prefer not to be exposed to them.
This requires transparency (and probably a deep breath) on your part and active listening on theirs. If they can’t respect your boundaries, maybe it’s time to walk away from the conversation.
Every person has things that cause them to react emotionally. The key to keeping your cool is knowing exactly what it is that brings those reactions and doing your best to limit exposure or find another way to process your feelings.
You can’t control what will happen to you in life, but you can control how you choose to react.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington who specializes in content self-love, interpersonal relationships, and lifestyle topics. She strives to deliver informative and entertaining news you can use to help navigate life.
