How To Avoid Narcissists And Toxic People, According To A Self-Aware Narcissist
Only a self-aware narcissist would know the answer.
TikTok Narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, is a complex mental health condition that involves a grandiose or inflated sense of self.
Narcissists are selfish, self-centered, and believe themselves to be superior to others. Individuals with this disorder expect to be treated in certain ways and don't regard the opinions or problems of others.
One of the worst things narcissists do is manipulate people into doing what they want. They can become abusive and deeply hurt the people in their lives.
But do narcissists know they are narcissists? Well, one man named Lee Hammock is a self-aware narcissist.
Hammock is a mental health advocate and motivational speaker who has made it his goal in life to help the people his disorder has affected.
Hammock has been diagnosed with NPD since 2017 and has been public about it since 2019.
"My goal is the raise awareness for NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), get more people into therapy, and also validate the victims and survivors of Narcissistic Abuse," he says on his website. He also provides a different perspective through one-on-one coaching sessions
Hammock is extremely active on his social media platforms, vocalizing his teachings and opinions on NPD in videos he creates himself.
This self-aware narcissists discusses how to avoid narcissists and toxic people.
The short answer? Leave them alone.
Hammock explains how people often give second, third, fourth, and even fifteenth chances to narcissists when they absolutely don't deserve them. "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time," he states.
What he means is that the first time someone yells at you, hurts you, or disrespects you in any way, you need to leave. Don't stay around thinking that person will change.
Hammock continues to explain that these people are preying on your empathy and compassion.
"They are preying on the fact that you are super empathetic and super forgiving and super kind," he adds. He then holds up a red flag and says, "The first time one of these pops up into your life or relationship dynamic, leave them alone."
Hammock ends this video by saying that you control access to yourself: "Access to you is earned."
Hammock's other videos explain if you can ever hurt a narcissist, what it's like showing emotion in front of this kind of person, and how narcissists will try to convince you that they love you, especially if you are about to leave them.
According to Hammock, narcissists will start saying things like, "Hey, I love you," "You know I love you, right?", "I've never loved anybody like this," or "I can't live without you."
He goes on to explain that if someone truly loved you, they wouldn't have to convince you that they do, "Narcissists normally don't put the actions behind the words 'I love you.' They just say it and expect it to be enough," Hammock explains.
Narcissists and toxic people will treat you horribly up until the moment you decide to leave; only then does the "crying, begging, and pleading, and the 'I love yous' come in."
Not only do Hammock's videos explain certain elements or behaviors of a person with NPD, but he makes role-playing videos demonstrating how narcissists act in certain situations.
Hammock makes it very clear that the best way to deal with a narcissist or a toxic person is to not give them the time of day. Remove them from your life, and don't spend a minute of time trying to change them.
Deauna Nunes is an associate editor for YourTango who covers pop culture, lifestyle, astrology, and relationship topics. She's had bylines in Emerson College's literary magazine, Generic.