3 Harsh Things We All Learn About Men In Our 20s

Boys can be fun in your early 20s, but one day you grow up and realize you want a man.

Last updated on Jul 13, 2023

woman and man on beach PeopleImages.com - Yuri A/ Shutterstock

This morning, I saw a list on Madame Noire a spot-on list of lessons women learn about men as they get later into their 20s.

In my late 20s, I can definitely relate to most of it, as there are an astounding number of things I didn't know several years ago. Just a few of my favorite lessons.

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Here are 3 harsh things we all learn about men in our 20s:

1. That they work a lot

"They disappear at work. Women are better at multitasking. And even though women know that it takes them a few years to understand why men can go off to start their workday, and somehow not text or call all day.

Eventually, we learn that when men get to work, they get in the zone and they really can't jerk their attention out of there to focus on a text until the day is done. There are way too many other distractions and requests in the workplace, so it's not that surprising that your text to him at 1 p.m. didn't receive a response until 9 p.m."


Yes! It takes a really long time to figure out that men and women have different communication styles and deal with them appropriately. Not to mention figure out a nice way to say, "If I haven't heard from you in eight hours, I will assume you either hate me or something terrible has happened to you. This doesn't mean I'm crazy, it just means I'm a woman." 

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2. Your values have to match to make it work

"Ambition matters. We all date bartenders, bouncers, and guys who work at gyms in our early twenties. We don't think too much about where these guys are going with their life. But, towards the end of your twenties, if a guy isn't pursuing a career yet — not just a job, but a career — you can no longer turn a blind eye."

Harsh but true. Eventually, you want someone whose ambition matches yours, but that somehow seems less important in your early 20s.


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3. Don't trust them if they text late at night

"Midnight texts are bad news. You get a drunk, midnight text from a guy you like in your early twenties, and you get kind of excited or giddy.

Some people do what they really want and say what they really think when they're drunk. After a while, after a few times of going to see that guy at midnight and realizing in the morning (while you pull out your spare pair of underwear from your purse) that he isn't trying to date you, you learn that a real man calls you, soberly, mid-day and plans a date."

Duh, I wish more women realized this earlier in life.


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Monica Green is a freelance writer who has contributed to Good Housekeeping, The Knot, and Bustle, among others.