The Hardest Part Of Healing That Nobody Wants To Talk About
Everyone wants to talk about the positive aspects of healing.
Srdjan Randjelovic / Shutterstock You're on a healing journey and things couldn't be better for you. You've never felt happier in your life and everywhere you look positivity seems to be coming your way.
But here's the thing: Healing has a hidden side, a dark side that people don't often talk about. But what is this secret hidden side?
Licensed therapist Logan Cohen dives into the toughest part of healing and just why it's so difficult.
The Hardest Part About Healing That Nobody Talks About
"Everyone talks about the positive aspects of personal growth and healing," begins Cohen. But we rarely talk about the sadness that comes with realizing your close relationships aren't the same anymore.
Yes, it's hard to realize that you don't have much in common with your old friends or family anymore. That the things you once enjoyed no longer hold your interest.
And likely, you've found yourself arguing with your loved ones lately. Trying to explain why you've changed and why it's important. Yet, no matter how much you explain it to them they don't seem to understand. But that's just it — they don't want to understand you.
Cohen says, "See not everyone wants to grow like you, and being the 'old you' might be what some of those people want."
Some people want you to be your old self, even if it means being your worst self.
But let's get real, going back to your old self would reverse all the progress you've made. In truth, it would set you back and prevent you from healing and moving forward.
So, then what can you do? After all, we might say we need to let go of the old to make way for the new, but that's easier said than done.
The truth is, these people have been there for you during your worst moments. They listened to you vent and listened to you cry. They encouraged you to send that text or to leave that toxic relationship.
So, it's understandable if you feel hesitant to let go of this relationship.
But the reality is, that having good enough times together isn't enough to justify keeping a relationship. Especially, if these present moments you're creating together are unhealthy or toxic.
However, when push comes to shove and this person begins holding you back, you have to make a decision. Do you choose them or yourself? Ideally, you'd choose yourself and put your mental health first. But the reality is, the guilt of doing that would probably eat you alive.
And yes, it's normal to have a hard time letting go in the beginning. In truth, letting go requires both strength and determination. The strength to say I need better and the determination to do better.
Yes, it requires the understanding that if you don't let go of those old relationships, it will likely undo all the progress and hard work you've made into healing yourself.
This is why you need to try slowly distancing yourself from that person. Maybe don't hang out as much or choose to fill your time with other people or hobbies.
And while they might be upset, remember that your time and energy are yours to give; it's not something someone can just steal from you.
So, keep going in your healing journey, and remember, even the tiniest steps can still move us forward in the right direction.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.