Happy People Usually Resist The Urge To Wallow In This Low-Vibration Emotion
Six concrete ways to protect your life and not derail.
Liza Summer | Canva Guilt is a universal emotion, and while women often tend to allow guilt to affect their choices more than men, it can derail anyone's life. Luckily, there are ways for us to balance healthy sense of guilt with the more damaging effects.
Guilt is more than just a cruddy feeling when you've made a mistake, it's a low-vibrational emotion. Dr. David Hawkins’ research for over 30 years calibrated the vibrational level of 17 different attitudes and emotions. His "Map of Consciousness" details each one, from the lowest energy vibration to the highest. Guess what? Guilt is the second-lowest, after shame.
Setting yourself free from the guilt will take some practice, and a deliberate shift in the way you think.
Seven ways happy people resist wallowing in their low-vibration guilt
1. When feeling bad, they make a positive list
Feeling guilty zaps your energy. It also causes your mind to think negatively. So, consequently, your self-esteem tanks, which can make you feel not good enough or worthless.
When you’re feeling not good enough, make a list of all that you do for others. Include what you do for yourself on that list. Look for proof that you are doing a lot, and that you’re doing it the very best you can.
Guilt trips are no fun, so cut them off at the pass.
2. They consider the source of their guilt
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Who is laying the guilt on you and for what? Are they feeling ignored because you’re focused on other priorities?
You might ask them — nicely — to consider how much you are doing for them, as well as for others. Are they taking advantage of your feelings of guilt or manipulating you? Or did you actually do something wrong?
This is an area where journaling may be helpful, particularly Positive Affect Journaling (PAJ). Research into PAJ, described as, "an emotion-focused self-regulation intervention", showed many benefits to people experiencing heightened anxiety (which often goes along with wallowing in guilt).
3. They choose to show gratitude
Admiration goes a long way, especially when it is you whom you admire. Who did you help today? You could appreciate the effort you put into being helpful or positive so someone else.
Shifting your perspective from guilt and regret to gratitude isn't simple, but multiple scientific studies have shown that gratitude has positive effects on people — not just emotionally, but also physically! UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center found such profound benefits to gratitude that they published a formal white paper on the subject!
4. They look for objective truth
Imagine your good friend asks you about how to stop feeling guilty about a situation. What would you advise her to do?
Talk through the options she has to change her response to the circumstances in which she finds herself. What choices does she have? Then, apply the same to your situation.
5. They do the work to think differently
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
That’s my favorite quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer, because it reminds me that I always have a choice — and so do you.
You could let a situation throw you into the guilt trap, or you could look at it another way. How can you turn it on its head and see it differently?
6. They look for the deeper emotion behind the guilt
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You might feel ashamed about something you did, which makes you feel guilty. Or, you're resentful of someone else and you let the guilt take over.
Another emotion that hides behind guilt could be anger — and that’s not how you want to feel. So, you turn it into guilt.
In my opinion, guilt is a worthless emotion that can make you feel worthless. So, where's the value in that?
Be deliberate about examining how you feel and cut yourself a break. It takes practice to turn a life-long habit of feeling guilty into a more positive attitude, like gratitude or peacefulness.
7. They apologize when necessary and then change perspective
Here’s how to start: Accept what happened, apologize if it’s necessary, then change your perspective so you can learn how to respond differently in the future.
What could you do another way that would change how you feel?
Then, do something good for someone else and feel the joy that it brings. Follow that with doing a beautiful thing for yourself and let tranquility wash over you.
Let the guilt go and set yourself free.
María Tomás-Keegan is a certified life and career coach specializing in transition and founder of Transition & Thrive with Maria.
