Girl, Keep Your Standards High Even If It Means You'll Be Lonely

Loneliness isn't an excuse to ever settle for less.

Last updated on May 20, 2023

woman in a hammock ViChizh/ Shutterstock

By Brittany Christopoulos

In a time when everyone feels lonely despite having people around, it’s important to stay focused. Even those of us who are in relationships feel lonely sometimes.

So, if you’re single and using your spare time to search for a partner once this is all over, keep your standards high, regardless of how lonely you feel.

RELATED: How Having High Standards Affects Relationships (And What That Even Means)


It doesn’t matter if you hate sleeping alone in your bed or crave a cuddle on the couch while watching a movie on cold nights. It doesn’t even matter if you absolutely are bored out of your mind and you want to settle for anyone willing to give you attention — don’t fall for it.

You should never settle for someone who doesn’t mesh with you, respect you, deserve you or genuinely cares for you. Don’t waste your time getting to know someone if you aren’t feeling it from the beginning.

You both deserve to find your perfect matches, so don’t hold either of you back.

It’s better to be single than to be in the wrong relationship. You should rather wait patiently for someone who can finish your sentences, guess where to get food from, surprise you with sweet gestures and care about how your day was.


There’s nothing worse than losing yourself or potentially losing friends for someone who negatively affects you or doesn’t improve your life, let alone someone who causes trauma and pain.

Lowering your high standards as a result of temporary loneliness is normal. But that doesn’t mean it should happen so easily.

It’s not easy being alone all the time. I completely understand that and can relate. I’ve been doing it for five years, and my friends have been doing it, too.

So, we’re not alone in feeling the way we do. And there’s nothing wrong with craving intimacy or someone to talk to.

RELATED: Why You Need To Stop Being OK With Settling


You deserve so much more than you think and can do so much better. Don’t consider the idea of settling for someone mediocre who doesn’t make you truly happy.

Being patient is hard and no one wants to feel like they’re never going to get their dream relationship. What’s more, it’s particularly difficult when everyone else’s “perfect” relationships being thrown in our faces on social media.

There’s a weird pressure and desire to have the same, even if the picture isn’t as happy as it seems. We forget that only the highlights are broadcasted for us to see.

You have plenty of time and so many more opportunities to come in order to find your perfect match. You don’t need to get married tomorrow, you don’t need to move in together next week, and you certainly don’t need to get into a relationship after one date.


Remember that good things take time and you can’t rush them, no matter how hard you try.

With that being said, you also need to keep your standards high and not message someone from your past when you’re lonely. It’s tempting, but don’t crawl back to them just for a few brief moments of comfort.

Keep your standards high. Don’t double-text someone who’s continuously ignoring your messages. And don’t always think people have changed when they clearly haven’t. The signs are always there, even if you have rose-colored glasses on.

Besides, reaching out to the wrong person when you’re lonely will only bring temporary happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment. You’ll feel a lot lonelier when they leave or something goes wrong. And chances are, you’ll probably regret it and be upset with yourself that you caved in.


Loneliness can be crippling and emotionally draining. But it isn’t the end of the world.

You can do so much growing while you wait, like reflecting on your life, creating a game plan for your future, and improving yourself. Loneliness can be a great tool to help give us the opportunities that we haven’t had before.

Don’t settle for less than what you deserve. And don’t let that get in the way of you finding your one true love.

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Brittany Christopoulos is a writer, journalist and fill-in TV co-host. She's a Senior Writer and Head of Trending News for Unwritten. Follow her on Twitter.