Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Totally Different Ideas Of What It Means To Be Loyal
PeopleImages / Shutterstock It's basically a given that the heart of any relationship, whether with family, friends, coworkers, or your spouse, is loyalty to one another. That said, what loyalty actually means varies not only from person to person, but also from generation to generation.
Every age group, from Gen Z to boomers, has an entirely different idea when it comes to what it means to be loyal. Sadly, different perceptions of what showing up looks like between these demographics create chronic misunderstandings and tension. Managers have different expectations from those of employees. Parents feel disconnected from their adult children. While each party involved may believe they are truly loyal, if their concepts of what that means are too far apart, they're likely to feel betrayed and disrespected due to what are, in fact, simple misunderstandings.
Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, and boomers all have their own ideas of what it means to be a loyal person
The values that defined the time periods in which each generation came of age directly impact the ways each of them thinks about loyalty. While trust is critical for all of them, each believes in vastly different ways in which the kind of faithfulness they find meaningful is demonstrated.
Boomers believe loyalty is all about duty, hierarchies, longevity, and sacrifice.
For people between the ages of 61 and 80, loyalty often means respecting designated roles and showing up for people, even when it’s uncomfortable. They inconvenience themselves for the sake of those they feel an obligation to, based on a specific type of relationship, such as their family members, the people they've spent much of their lives working with, their spouse, or their neighbors.
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Loyalty is something boomers believe is earned over time. If they've known someone for decades and have been able to weather life's storms by their side, they will continue to stick by them. They will stay in a marriage or at a specific job for longer than they may personally want to because, well, they've already done so for this long. Their grit and work ethic tie into how they show affection and appreciation. Even when it occasionally comes at their own expense, this sacrifice is something they wear as a badge of honor.
Authority figures and traditional hierarchies also play into loyalty for boomers. They believe people in positions of authority are generally there for a reason and should be respected as such. Perhaps most importantly, this kind of overarching commitment and loyalty is inherently tied to respect for them, which is why differences in Gen Z and millennial beliefs can often feel like personal attacks.
Gen X is more skeptical and believes loyalty must be earned through mutual respect.
Gen X is proud of their skepticism. They were the first generation to grow up seeing a large number of their parents or their friends' parents get divorced, so they didn't believe loyalty was something you could necessarily expect from anyone else. No matter what your relationship to someone might be, loyalty is something Gen X believes you absolutely have to earn.
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The way Gen X measures a person's loyalty has to do with the ways in which someone does or doesn't show up for them when they need them. They are also extremely focused on whether or not others are honest with them and willing to have their back and protect their privacy. Once you're in a Gen X inner circle, their loyalty is exceptionally fierce.
Because they spent their childhoods with no choice but to be highly independent, they also value respect for autonomy. If someone gives them that, they'll be loyal to the very end.
For millennials, loyalty has far more to do with duration than with traditional duty.
Compared to the undying loyalty many older co-workers have in the workplace, millennials base their loyalty on shared history and chosen families. They often had tumultuous family lives, and place more value on being loyal to the friends who have supported them most over time.
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People and companies that have invested in them for the long term by showing vulnerability and a commitment to staying connected matter to them more than just about anything else. They believe it is extremely important to do the work necessary to work through conflicts and talk through tensions rather than give up on people who have mattered to them for a significant period of time.
Relationships are where millennials go to feel safe from the rest of the world's problems, so they will absolutely prioritize supporting those who have supported them.
Gen Z is committed to work and relationships that align with their morals and ethical beliefs.
They tend to exert more effort and passion for those who actually care about their interests, instead of burning themselves out for people who don’t care about their well-being or share their political and ethical beliefs. Gen Z sees loyalty as an action, and they expect people they engage with to openly advocate for them and the issues that matter most to them before they will consider being loyal.
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This generation considers their personal mental health to be one of their highest priorities, and if someone isn't willing to respect their tightly drawn boundaries, they see that as a sign of disloyalty and are often willing to cut ties with that person altogether.
At the same time, Gen Z doesn't see proximity or in-person interaction as particularly important. They believe a loyal friend can exist anywhere, and you don't even necessarily need to meet someone in order to feel deeply connected and committed to them.
They only put effort into relationships and people who treat them with respect in return, which is why they see showing up for people in older generations who support causes and people they disagree with as a serious challenge.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
