There Are Actually 4 Kinds Of Introverts — And One Probably Describes You Perfectly
Marcel Strauß | Unsplash Picture yourself at a crowded party. There's barely room to put down your drink, let alone breathe. There are so many people, and it seems as if more are coming in by the minute. You're trying to be social and engage with people, but you feel as though the conversation is a losing battle. You long to be home and working on your novel, painting, or just watching TV. You're always one of the first people to leave a party because you've had enough small talk and your social battery feels low.
If this sounds like you, you could be an introvert. The way you act is often mistaken for shyness, social phobia, or an avoidance personality disorder. It isn't that you don't like to socialize; you just prefer not to. You like people and create strong bonds with them, so you aren't just a lonely loser. You enjoy your own company and can get overwhelmed in social situations.
There are actually 4 kinds of introverts, and one probably describes you perfectly:
1. Social introvert
The social introvert prefers to stay home, entertaining themselves with reading, playing on the computer, gardening, listening to music, or binge-watching Netflix, as opposed to going to a party or event with mostly strangers. This differs from shyness, as there is no anxiety-driven preference for being alone or with a small group.
Counselor Valerie Varan explained from a personal and clinical perspective, "Social introverts need to recharge on their own. To do so, we simply go within to where we feel our vibration at the source. We luxuriate in the energy field that is our being. The downside is we feel every subtle whisper of energy so readily that the more tangible stuff feels like it is screaming at us 24/7. No wonder we need alone time to recharge our energy battery, and how frustrating it is when our introverted nature is confused by extroverts for shyness."
2. Thinking introvert
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The thinking introvert gets lost in their thoughts. They enjoy getting lost in a fantasy world imaginatively and creatively. They enjoy playing virtual reality games, but also enjoy social events. They're overall thoughtful and introspective.
"The power of the introvert lies in their capacity for deep thinking and focus, as well as their strong listening skills, keen observation skills, and their perseverance in completing a task," explained mental health coach and pastor Isabelle Kluge.
3. Anxious introvert
The anxious introvert has a lot in common with a socially awkward person. They prefer to be alone and not go to a social gathering because they're not as confident in their social skills. They have a great deal of social remorse and will go over a social encounter repeatedly, which they feel didn't go well. If only they hadn't gone for a kiss on the cheek while the other person offered a handshake — le cringe.
Therapist Dr Gloria Brame, Ph.D., added that "Anxious introverts need consistent rituals to manage their limited social energy. If you find yourself unavailable more often than most people simply because you're committed to maintaining your personal rhythms, that's your introverted nature insisting on the boundaries it needs to thrive."
4. Restrained or reserved introvert
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The restrained introvert likes to consider things before they think or act. Hamlet is a classic example of a restrained introvert. After all, as he said, "Conscience doth make cowards of us all." In other words, if you think too much, you're going to be pretty slow to take action.
It isn't better to be an extrovert or an introvert; they're just personality traits. But the more you understand yourself and the reason you do and feel the things you do, the more comfortable you'll become.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and astrology lover. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, and Woman's Day.
