How Forgiveness Can Help You Take What You've Lost & Leave Pain Behind

Three ways to use forgiveness on the path to feeling whole again.

woman forgiving mother who passed away, letting go of any ill will feelings about her childhood MangoStar_Studio, PeopleImages | Canva

My mom suffered from several health issues for many, many years before she passed away in December 2014. As a result, I found myself very depressed for several months. I felt a very intense and deep combination of grief and anger — the grief I didn't have a mom anymore, and the anger she was not available to support me for most of my adult life.

I'm not blaming anything or anyone here, but I definitely missed her so much, and it left a void in my life. I was sinking emotionally and desperately looking for a way out. I was trying to make peace with what had happened.


My daughter was really little at that time and having her to care for built a sense of urgency to gather my pieces. I had to find a way out, so I didn't drown on this journey.

I realized my mom had lost her mother early on in life, and she had to step up to be the mom for her siblings and help take care of them. I understood the struggles she had with her family, and the truckload of unresolved emotions she had been carrying all her life. Her burden eventually contributed to the many health issues she had including breast cancer.

By putting the different pieces together to make peace and heal from the grief of losing my mom, a forgiveness exercise came forth.


Forgiveness can help us let go of the emotional baggage we carry and bring back the pieces of ourselves we leave behind with every unpleasant experience we have gone through.

So basically, you claim back whatever you left behind and release what is no longer yours. 

RELATED: Why Forgiveness Is One Of The Most Powerful Things In This World


Here's how to use forgiveness as a path to finding wholeness

1. Acknowledge all of your emotions.

First you begin the journey to heal your emotions at new levels by acknowledging these emotions. As you begin to immerse yourself in this process, you shift from being a passive observer of the emotional roller coaster to becoming an active participant in your life. This initiates a huge shift in your emotional energy. When this happens, you start bringing back your lost fragments of personality, and you let go of those aspects that are ewno longer yours.

RELATED: How Vulnerability And Affection Are Essential To Great Emotional Intimacy

2. Reclaim your emotions.

As you reclaim your emotional self, you will begin to forgive at a deep level. Even if you're not willing to forgive some people, which is totally understandable, you can declare you are ready to move on! We're not saying what was done to you is justifiable. You're not forgiving the act. You're forgiving the person. So we are no longer attached to the person, and they are no longer draining us.

Think about it this way — the person you are upset about might be having a party on the other side of the globe and have no clue you are upset with them. Why shouldn't you too!


RELATED: 5 Ways To Get To A Place Of Forgiveness — Even If It Seems Out Of Reach

3. Know what to expect with this process.

By acknowledging, accepting and healing the emotions you have been ignoring or suppressing for the longest time, you start to heal your heart. You open up to a whole new level of compassion, forgiveness, oneness, divinity, and even balance your own energies. You open up to connecting to your intuition and your divinity inside of you!

RELATED: The Tricky Emotion That Blocks The Deep Sleep We All Need


Archanaa Shyam is an Intuitive Visionary Strategist and Catalyst who is a student of Shamanic Astrology. She is a medical intuitive, a master energy transmitter and channel and integrates all of these interests and talents into being a mentor and guide to clients.