3 Everyday Habits Happy People Gave Up After Realizing They Were Stealing Their Peace
Getty Images | Canva Too often, we all have that little voice in our head that screams, "You can't! You don't know how! You'll make a fool of yourself! You'll fail! You're not smart enough! You're not pretty enough!" and so on.
The sad thing is that most of us listen to those self-sabotaging voices — and we believe them. How do you believe in yourself when you let your fear of failure and trust issues get in the way?
Unsurprisingly, negative self-talk ends up holding you back: in your career, relationship, social life, and other areas important to your growth. It's as if learning how to believe in yourself is a distant dream, impossible to achieve when the voices in your head are so stuck on negativity. Here are certain everyday habits happy people gave up after realizing they were stealing their peace, and how giving them up brought them back to believing in themselves and regaining their faith.
Here are 3 everyday habits happy people gave up after realizing they were stealing their peace:
1. Happy people stop talking badly about themselves
Too many times, you aren't even aware of the undermining thoughts you keep repeating. Start observing and taking note of what you're telling yourself. You don't need to make yourself crazy by focusing on every thought. But when you feel that self-doubt creeping in, stop and ask, "What did I just imagine or tell myself?"
What you can do: Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses. When you question the negative things you say to yourself, you recognize that you aren't lifting yourself, essentially changing your mindset over a certain topic.
Rather than saying, "I'm terrible at this! I'll never improve!" ask, "What can I do to make myself better at this?" Then, remember to stay mindful of using positive self-talk rather than negative self-sabotage.
Many people are so used to negative self-talk that they don't even notice they're doing it. One study explained that this can promote a self-fulfilling cycle where you believe the negative things you tell yourself.
2. Happy people stop treating every negative thought as the truth
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If someone else puts you down or criticizes you, you'd defend yourself or push back, right? So, stop taking it from yourself. We tend to focus on our perceived weaknesses instead of our strengths. Self-doubt is a by-product of an experience or an old self-perception.
What you can do: Stop letting the past affect your present. You're not who you used to be, and whatever happened in the past is over.
That means it's time to move forward, let go of the baggage, and start anew. No two situations are the same, and outcomes aren't inevitable because they happened once.
If you do, however, find yourself ruminating on the past, choose to focus on your successes, not your failures. Above all, don't let your fear stop you from pursuing your dreams and ambitions, and making yourself a better person in the process.
A study on cognitive restructuring explained that the process of challenging thoughts strengthens a person's ability to cope with stressful situations. By questioning and reframing negative self-talk, individuals are less likely to be overwhelmed by difficult emotions.
3. Happy people stop entertaining thoughts that make them feel bad
It's only a thought, and you can control your thoughts, fortunately. Thoughts are simply choices. You don't wear clothes that make you feel uncomfortable or eat food you don't like. So why choose thoughts that make you feel bad?
What you can do: Choose a thought that makes you feel good and encourages you. Stick with a positive attitude, focusing on why you can instead of why you can't.
If you can't come up with anything, think about what someone who cares about you would say. It would probably be something along the lines of, "Everyone makes mistakes, and you're no different. But you have the power to create a future full of success and happiness. And it all starts with showing yourself compassion."
Self-sabotage and self-doubt can get in the way of a happy life, but the good news is that those mental patterns can be broken — if you allow yourself to.
Barbara Rush is a self-empowerment and mindset coach who specializes in Anxiety Issues, Career and Change Management, and communication problems.
