If You Do These 7 Everyday Things Without Being Asked, You Have More Credibility Than The Average Person
Some people just naturally earn trust wherever they go.
Urban Gyllstrom | Unsplash When we’re young, our survival depends on the approval of others. Most of us grow up looking for ways to fit in, which often means living up to the expectations others have for us, rather than being our authentic selves.
In general, the need for approval drops off over the years. (Probably the coolest thing about getting older!) With time and support, I’ve gotten way less worried about fitting in and spend far less time making choices based on how others are likely to react to them. This, in turn, has made me a much more credible person.
The freedom that accompanies this relative indifference is exhilarating. I've come to realize that some things are simply more important than having everyone in the world agree with me. (Plus, I tend to be too busy or tired to worry about what "normal" is supposed to look like anymore.) And you, too, can make peace with not fitting in. Here are a few tips to earn you extra credibility in life.
If you do these 8 everyday things without being asked, you have more credibility than the average person:
1. Surround yourself with people who don't have an agenda
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Find people who get you for who you are supposed to be, who won’t be disappointed when you don’t live up to standards that aren’t relevant to who you truly are.
When individuals interact with others whom they believe have no self-serving motives, it fosters a sense of trust. A 2020 study explained that this trust can then extend to the person surrounded by these individuals. When others witness these interactions, they are more likely to perceive the surrounded person as trustworthy.
2. Stop seeking approval from people who don’t matter
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Develop some discretion about what you share with certain people, especially anyone who belittles your expression of your true self. Devote your time, creativity, and energy to chasing your dreams instead of trying to convince others of their value.
Individuals who are not constantly seeking external validation tend to be more self-confident. One study explained that this means they are less affected by the opinions of others, leading to a sense of inner peace and freedom from worry about external judgments.
3. Accept rejection as a blessing
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We can’t always avoid toxic people, but we can usually reduce the amount of contact we have with them. Although it may not feel like it at the time, when they throw us away, they create space for new and better, and our lives are generally better for it.
Understanding that rejection isn't always a negative outcome but can lead to growth, improved understanding, or redirection towards better opportunities demonstrates emotional maturity and resilience. A 2021 study suggested that people who can navigate and learn from setbacks are perceived as having a greater ability to handle challenges and make informed decisions.
4. Question beliefs that no longer serve you
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Growing up, I got a lot of information about who I was. Some of this information was true, at least at the time. But some information was flat-out wrong and led me to believe negative and limiting things about myself.
It took a good bit of work to sort through and reject these messages, updating them to reflect who I really was in the present time. Don’t let yourself be stigmatized by other people’s judgments.
The willingness to examine and abandon beliefs that are no longer productive shows a degree of self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth. Research has shown that this adaptability and openness contribute to being seen as a reliable and trustworthy source of information or advice.
5. Be selective about the feedback you accept
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While not all information is worthwhile or accurate, see if you can pull something of value from the messages you currently get.
Strive for kindness and consideration without trying to twist yourself into a version of yourself that doesn’t feel authentic. Watch for defensiveness or slipping into shame. If someone’s input or requests help you grow, improve, or understand yourself better, consider it a gift.
6. Don’t take things personally
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Even when it is personal. Don’t make it about you. People judge from their filters, values, and priorities. Honor their right to their opinions and move on.
According to a 2023 study, when someone can regulate their emotional response and avoid taking comments or situations personally, they appear more objective and less biased. They can engage with facts and situations without letting personal feelings cloud their judgment, which enhances their credibility, according to Inc.com.
7. Stop comparing yourself to others
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The real value we bring to this lifetime comes from our authenticity and uniqueness, whether or not it is immediately appreciated. There are huge benefits to chasing an individual dream and solving problems in creative, out-of-the-box ways. Look beyond the push for conformity.
Research suggests that people who avoid constant comparison tend to show stronger leadership qualities. By focusing on their path, they are modeling independence, resilience, and a dedication to their unique vision.
8. Take time for yourself
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We all are pulled in so many different directions that we often end up exhausted and resentful because we haven’t made time to pull away for a little recharge time. But you’ll be in much better shape if you bring a healthy "you" to the party.
Learning to follow your inner guidance, especially when it means saying "no" or taking time for yourself, can mean developing a tolerance for the discomfort of swimming against the current.
And oddly enough, over time, the judgments and criticism can start feeling like a badge of honor because they often affirm that you are being true to who you really are.
Dr. Jane Bluestein is an author, artist, and life-long educator who works with parents, counselors, and educators worldwide. She is the author of the award-winning book Parents, Teens, and Boundaries: How to Draw the Line.
