13 Surprisingly Deep Life Lessons I Learned From Moving From Into A Retirement Home At Age 27
Living with people 40 years older than me taught me more about life than any self-help book ever could.
Evan Wise | Unsplash In the spring of 2021, my life was what one might call a train wreck. I was rehabbing an ACL injury that eliminated sports, lifting, and much of my social life at the time; my five-year relationship had just ended, and I went more than 36 hours without sleep. I lost 15 pounds and decided instead of withering away, I needed to change something, anything.
So I packed up my life with little plan or support and made the move a few hours away to be closer to my best friends. Surely my friends could help pick up the pieces of me that I couldn’t.
Philly would be my new home, and the neighborhood my friend suggested sounded like a perfect fit. I did a little research, found an apartment complex with just the right location for me, and applied..
What I didn’t realize at the time was just how much I would stand out from the crowd. To my surprise, after only a few hours at my beautiful new apartment, it came to my attention that I was the youngest resident by about forty years. Yes, my friends, I moved into a retirement community at age 27. And my plan to fly under the radar quickly failed as I became the young, new face.
The last thirteen months spent in this community have been interesting, to say the least. Are they what I had planned in my head before moving? No. But they have been an adventure all their own, and I’ve lived to tell quite the tale. As I prepare to move on to the next chapter in my story, I can’t help but reflect on this unique time in my life.
Here are thirteen surprisingly deep lessons I learned from moving into a retirement home at age 27:
1. It's okay to be broken and vulnerable
More people should give it a try — the vulnerable part. The people I lived around didn’t care where I came from or what my past entailed. They always offered a listening ear and were inquisitive about my life. It was refreshing to speak to others about my struggles and hear their wise experience and advice beyond my years.
2. Give yourself and others grace
Pheelings media / Shutterstock
Even on days I felt like a failure, grace truly lifted me and helped me keep going. It’s okay to have low days, and giving yourself the space to accept them and move on is necessary.
3. Therapy is an amazing tool
I will say, I didn’t initially start going to therapy for my benefit, but, man, is it a powerful tool. I never really doubted that it was, but it didn’t seem like something I needed. Therapy has taught me to open up, acknowledge my feelings, and speak freely about them — things I’ve never been good at.
4. Making decisions for your well-being is a learned skill
Learn it and get good at it. Before my move, every single other person’s opinion came before mine in my decision-making process. And not by their volition but by my own. Being alone has helped me learn to make decisions for myself, and that’s a very newly acquired skill for me.
5. Solitude and silence are great for reflection
It is so easy to distract yourself from the struggles and hardships that you face. Sometimes, just sitting and reflecting on life is really needed. While distractions can have their time and place, so too can solitude and silence.
6. Grief comes in waves
I have some days where grief hits me like a ton of bricks, but it passes, and brighter days arrive. Grief really isn’t a linear thing, but learning to ride those waves can make it easier to accept. 13 months ago, grief consumed me, but today, I’ve learned to manage it.
7. Uncomfortable situations can cultivate amazing growth
fizkes / Shutterstock
I get it, being uncomfortable isn’t fun. But I promise you, it will change you as a person for the better. You will learn empathy, you will learn awareness, you will learn to listen to your intuition, you will learn to hear others. Don’t be afraid to put yourself in situations that may feel awkward or weird.
8. Few fires can’t wait until tomorrow
Real fires you need to address, but figurative fires often aren’t emergencies that need to upend your entire here and now. Setting boundaries and expectations can also help in this area.
9. You have the power to elicit change
I feel like so many people forget that endless choices are always, always, always in front of them. If you are unhappy with something, you can change it, or change something that influences it. Work, relationships, family, attitude. While not all change is earth-shattering, taking the first step often leads to so many other open doors. I promise you.
10. The less you try to impress others, the more you will learn who you are
With no one to impress in my environment, I’ve had a chance to get to know myself, which is kind of a weird thing to say. I once told my therapist that if I weren’t me, I would want to be friends with me.
And she thought that was the best thing ever. Learn to be the person you’d want to be friends with.
11. Putting in the extra effort is usually worth it
There have been so many times when I’ve had the chance to help one of my neighbors with something as simple as paying their rent online or logging into their email. Sure, it takes time and patience, and they often make things way more complicated than they need to be. But I’ve never regretted taking the time to help others and put in an effort to connect with them.
12. Life goes on
The days pass regardless of how you spend them. Choose to see the positive, be the good, and do what you can to help others. I swear fulfillment is a real thing.
13. Living in a retirement community won’t be that bad when I am ready to retire
I now know from experience.
Sally Ricker is a writer and contributor on Medium.
