5 Old-Fashioned Things Deeply Happy Couples Do On A Regular Basis
True love never goes out of style.
Pavle Bugarski | Canva Old-fashioned love might be ready for a comeback, but we are not talking about turning back the calendar to reinvigorate all the problematic parts of the past. Oh no, we are mining the old-fashioned for the true gems to find the acts of love and loving that should never go out of style.
Research by the Gottman Institute suggests that deeply happyl couples have a higher ratio of positive to negative interactions, emphasizing the importance of daily positive deposits in the relationship. The goal is to cultivate a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your partner by focusing on deliberate acts of care, connection, and emotional presence.
Here are five old-fashioned things deeply happy couples do on a regular basis:
1. Leave little love notes
Miljan Zivkovic / Shutterstock
There are several choices to show appreciation and interest in old-fashioned ways. They include hand-written letters and notes, as well as small, related, inexpensive, playful gifts.
Try some short poems, rhymed or free verse, or maybe a haiku. You can also share manageable leads and information related to the person's goals and passions.
— Ruth Schimel, PhD, Career and Life Management Consultant
2. Exchange long letters
Rawpixel.com / Shutterstock
Some people still do it online, but not enough. At the beginning, you should exchange long letters in which you both describe yourself, your life, and your relationship goals. This is explored in a Purdue University study of romantic letters from the 1930s. Ask for specifics so you can check them out online, too.
People rush too quickly into relationships based on superficial connections and often get conned by people who present a false image. If they are willing to engage and provide concrete (and researchable) information, it allows both parties to be sure the person is sincere.
It's also easier to ask hard questions (do you want kids? Where do you work? Would you be willing to move?) before you meet up, rather than discovering the hottie you contacted has lots of deal-breaking issues.
—Dr. Gloria Brame, PhD, Therapist
3. Practice common courtesies
Mladen Mitrinovic / Shutterstock
An old-fashioned habit that people should bring back to fall in love again is practicing traditional courtesies. Simple acts like opening doors, pulling out chairs, and maintaining a sense of class and pleasantry in all situations show respect and appreciation between partners.
Research from 2017 on romantic competence supports how these gestures remind us of the importance of valuing and caring for each other in daily interactions to help build deeper connections and more loving relationships.
—Clare Waismann, Trauma Expert and Counselor
4. Woo each other
Yuri A / Shutterstock
Wooing! We’ve become so focused on being clear about what we want, setting boundaries, not wasting time, and healing that we often forget the magic of wooing. In the past, wooing was an art form, full of romantic gestures and thoughtful actions designed to make the other person feel special and appreciated.
Bringing back wooing can reignite that spark, as analyzed in a focused study on courtship. It involves small but meaningful actions like writing love letters, planning surprise dates, giving thoughtful gifts, and genuinely listening to each other.
Remember, falling in love isn't just about finding the right person but also about creating an atmosphere where love can flourish. Let's make an effort to wow each other and show we care in ways that truly matter.
—Erika Jordan, Love Coach / NLP Practitioner
5. Have dinner together with no phones
George Rudy / Shutterstock
Having dinner together without scrolling. Making space for a conversation that can wander, and isn’t just about sharing a nugget of information, can re-ignite intimacy, a reminder of why you chose each other, producing a powerful connection that can linger after the dishes are off the table.
— Patricia O'Gorman, PhD, Psychologist
There is nothing old-fashioned about love, actions, and thoughts. Love can be focused on nurturing a relationship with respect for the other person, showing the courtesies that follow respect, and fostering a caring exchange whenever possible. This is how deeply happy couples flourish in an atmosphere of equality, and that's not old-fashioned at all.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
