Daughter Calls Her Single Mom ‘Selfish’ For Not Using Her Retirement Savings To Buy Her A House
In what world is any child owed this?
fizkes | Shutterstock Most parents want to do everything they can for their children, but everyone has their limits. For one single mom on Reddit, those limits have crashed directly into her own child's bizarre sense of entitlement. It's left the two of them deeply at odds in ways that only our insane and punishing economy could create.
Her daughter is furious that she won't use her retirement savings to buy her a house.
In her Reddit post, the 55-year-old mom described how she'd raised her daughter as a single mother for most of her life, and not the kind who was a high-earning professional who could afford nannies and daycare.
"I worked multiple jobs, sacrificed vacations, and skipped luxuries just to give my daughter a decent life," she wrote. "She had everything she needed growing up: private school, a used car at 18, even partial support through college."
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She added that she has never asked her daughter for anything in return, only that she be "responsible and independent." But now that she has reached retirement, her 26-year-old daughter's attitude has made a major shift.
The daughter said her mother owes it to her because of her tough upbringing.
The mom has spent the past decade "aggressively saving" in hopes of being able to finally enjoy life in retirement after some 20 years of struggle raising her daughter. And as soon as her daughter found out, she began "pressuring" her mother about her money.
After hearing about her plan to "retire early and travel, maybe finally enjoy my life a little," her daughter immediately tried to claim the money for herself, telling her, "You should use that money to help me get a house."
You can probably imagine how that went over. "I told her kindly but firmly that I have already done my job as a parent. I’m not rich, I just planned well. And honestly, I deserve some peace," she wrote.
Her daughter was furious, telling her, "you’re just going to be selfish now? After everything I went through growing up?" She seems to have no awareness of what her mother also went through to raise her, and is even retaliating by telling other relatives her mother is "hoarding money" instead of helping her pay rent.
Times are tough, but nobody owes it to their children to suffer financially to help them.
I say this as a kid who grew up poor with a single mom, too. This daughter is incredibly out of line. If her mother were a minted millionaire, that would be one thing. But she's not, and she's also only 55 years old. The money she has saved has to last her decades.
And given how much her mother sacrificed, she IS entitled to a bit of peace and enjoyment in her golden years if she can get it. This economy and housing market are punishing and cruel, but her mother does not owe it to her to endanger her security in old age to help her buy a house.
She's also only 26. She's barely out of college. There are people nearly twice her age who don't own houses and likely never will. I am one of them. Her expectations are absurd on several levels.
And once she's a bit older, that realization will hit her in the head like an anvil. My mom and I are estranged, and my childhood was bleak, but even with those circumstances, I am constantly bowled over by the fact that my mom was able to keep a roof over my head.
Every time I go to the grocery store, every time I do my monthly budget, every time my car breaks down, or every time I have a medical bill, all I can think of is, how in God's name did my mom manage to afford to raise me without ending up on the street? I make more money than she did and have never had anyone to care for but myself, and I am BARELY getting by.
To demand someone who sacrificed so much, including mentally and emotionally, which is probably an even greater load than the financial one, to hurl herself back into financial turmoil because you feel entitled to a house is absurd. To be perfectly frank, her daughter sounds like a spoiled brat, which is an even more remarkable accomplishment on her mom's part. And she shouldn't give one inch more.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
