Customer Asks If He Was Wrong For Tipping Less Than A Dollar After Server Judged Him When His Card Declined
He felt like he should tip in accordance with her rude behavior, even though his wife disagreed.
fizkes | Shutterstock Complaining about the direction tipping culture has gone in is nothing new for most customers. One man didn’t particularly mind tipping and would have done so generously if his server hadn’t acted rudely.
Unfortunately, she treated him judgmentally after his credit card declined, and he felt he had no choice but to teach her a lesson by giving her a small tip. But, after his wife suggested he might have been too harsh, he took to Reddit to ask if his actions were wrong.
A server treated a restaurant customer with hostility because his card declined.
His post began, “I went out to dinner with my wife last night. When the bill came, I gave the waitress my card. She came back shortly after looking upset. She slapped the card down on the table and said ‘declined.’”
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He was deeply unhappy with this behavior, but chose not to say anything at first. “I thought her tone and brevity was rude,” he admitted. “I took out a different card from my wallet and handed it to her. While I was putting the first card in my wallet, she didn’t move.”
The conversation took a turn from there. “I looked at her and said, ‘You okay?’” he continued. “She said, ‘If I go back and try to run this, are you still going to be sitting here when I get back?’ I asked her if she thought her tone was appropriate for speaking to customers. She said, ‘You’re only a customer if you pay.’ I asked to speak to her manager.”
Unsurprisingly, the server had to eat her words. “The waitress returned with my card and the slip to fill out,” he recounted. “She said, ‘This one worked. I’m sorry.’”
Despite the server’s meager apology, the customer felt like it was time to teach her a lesson about the consequences of being rude.
“I thanked her and took the booklet,” he said. “Our bill was $91.17. I wrote in $0.83 as the tip and $92 as the total. I handed it back to her and started to get up to leave.”
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Naturally, the server was not happy with this. “She said, ‘You’re really not going to tip me?’” he recalled. “I said, ‘No, you were rude to me.’ She said, ‘I have to tip out the bartender and the busboy. I just paid money to serve you.’ I said, ‘Well, in the future, you shouldn’t be so rude.’”
He went on to explain that his wife thought he had treated the server rather poorly. She called it “an honest misunderstanding” and thought the least he could have done was give her $10. “I would have given her $28.83 if she wasn’t rude to me, but I don’t want to pay to be insulted,” he stated.
Restaurant industry experts suggested doing exactly what this customer did when faced with a rude server.
Bon Appétit editor Andrew Knowlton discussed several strategies to employ when you’re stuck with a rude server and things to keep in mind. He reminded readers that “they’re servers, not servants.” Being kind yourself when in the role of a customer can go a long way towards encouraging a server to act similarly.
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If you do find yourself stuck with a server who is a bit lacking as far as personality is concerned, Knowlton recommended requesting to speak with the manager and even asking for a different server. Of course, in this case, the customer did try to speak with the manager, but was denied that opportunity.
The other option, Knowlton said, is to make your feelings known when it’s time to tip. This is what this man decided to do since he felt he really had no other recourse. Based on this expert advice, he did nothing wrong.
Being a server isn't an easy job, however. There are pieces to this story that we don't know, which may have impacted her behavior. And while it's never a good idea to be rude to a customer, imagine if the restaurant requires the waitstaff to cover the costs if a party dines and dashes? Makes her reaction seem a little less outlandish, right? Seems like this is a circumstance where two wrongs don't make a right.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
