11 Common Phrases Boomers Use Without Realizing They're Totally Woke
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV | Shutterstock With age comes wisdom, but getting older can also make people more rigid and less open to change. As baby boomers enter their golden years, many think they seem to have lost sight of the messages that shaped them, ones of equality and rebellion from the 1960s.
But despite their traditionalist stance, there are several common boomer phrases that are way more progressive (and some might even say are "woke") than they realize.
Boomers use these 11 phrases and have no clue they're totally woke:
1. 'It is what it is'
The phrase exemplifies a mindset of acceptance, taking a very Zen approach to navigating the chaos and uncertainty that the world holds.
Soto Zen priest Domyo Burk discussed some of the core aspects of Buddhist practice on The Zen Studies Podcast. They described one particular field of Buddism called zazen, the act of seated meditation, which exemplifies the phrase “It is what it is.”
“When we sit, we aim to be wholeheartedly present with our life just as it is,” Burk said. “Only in the midst of this stillness and inner silence can we meet the world as it is unfolding around, within, and through us. As we pay close attention without agenda, Reality is illuminated.”
When Boomers say “it is what it is,” they unknowingly embody an essential principle of Zen Buddhism, the idea of accepting life as is, without expectations.
2. ‘Treat people the way you want to be treated’
This phrase captures the importance of centering compassion and kindness in every interaction. It can even be interpreted through a social justice lens, by considering the common humanity we all share.
The golden rule is a classic for a reason. Treating others as you want to be treated is the baseline of human interaction and requires one to practice empathy. Its true purpose is to encourage people to stay open-minded and aware, recognizing that all people deserve respect.
3. ‘Live and let live’
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It upholds tolerance and acceptance, which are fundamental facets of equity and inclusion. The phrase “live and let live” instructs people to withhold critical judgment and accept lifestyles that don’t perfectly match their own, because everyone has the right to a peaceful existence, as long as they’re not actively harming anyone else.
Psychologist Leon Seltzer shared his perspective on the phrase, declaring it “an idiom of humane mutuality” that’s easier said than done.
According to Seltzer, most people struggle to live and let live because of the deeply human need “to see ourselves as separate from, and better than, others— and so allow us to feel entitled to fulfill our desires independent and (at least relatively) neglectful of another’s wants and needs.”
All too often, self-interest and close-mindedness hold people back from fully embracing a “live and let live” mentality. Practicing acceptance isn’t easy, but it’s the only way to honor other people’s individuality.
4. ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’
This phrase extols the virtues of compassion, kindness, and respect, all of which are the foundation of "wokeness".
“It takes guts to tell people the truth,” YourTango CEO Andrea Miller said on the “Getting Open” podcast. “It takes wisdom and guts to tell people the truth with care and compassion, because it’s not about one up-ism, it’s about saying, ‘I care enough.’”
“The easiest thing is just to let people say what they want to say and then judge them and then distance yourself from them,” she continued. “It feels like to really care is to put yourself in the ring.”
5. ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’
In Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves, authors Louise Derman-Sparks and Julie Olsen Edwards established that identity, diversity, justice, and activism are the core goals of anti-bias curriculum designed for young students. One of the core fundamentals of these virtues is that you shouldn't give into an impulse to judge others based on their appearance.
They noted that the core goals “support children’s development of a confident sense of identity without needing to feel superior to others; an ease with human diversity; a sense of fairness and justice; the skills of empowerment; and the ability to stand up for themselves or for others.”
Boomers taught their children that judging people based on outward appearance isn’t fair, which is a more inclusive mindset than they realize.
6. ‘Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes’
Boomers laid the groundwork for inclusivity and empathic understanding with the common phrase “Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.” This phrase acknowledges the importance of respecting differences. This phrase, when told to others or even oneself, encourages us to pause before judging and remember that people make different choices based on different experiences and life realities.
Researcher and author Brené Brown points out that the idea of walking in someone else’s shoes only goes so far.
“We need to dispel the myth that empathy is ‘walking in someone else’s shoes,’” she explained. “Rather than walking in your shoes, I need to learn how to listen to the story you tell about what it’s like in your shoes and believe you even when it doesn’t match my experiences.”
According to Brown, true empathy comes from asking other people how they feel and “listening, being curious, affirming, and believing people when they tell us how they experienced something.”
“Like empathy, story stewardship is not walking in someone else’s shoes, it’s being curious and building narrative trust as they tell you about the experience of being in their own shoes,” Brown shared. “It’s about believing people when they tell you what an experience meant to them.”
7. ‘It takes a village to raise a child’
The phrase “It takes a village to raise a child” upholds the concept that caregiving is a communal act. The phrase comes from an African proverb and “conveys the message that it takes many people to provide a safe, healthy environment for children, where children are given the security they need to develop and flourish, and to be able to realize their hopes and dreams.”
The phrase centers around the idea of collective responsibility, emphasizing how valuable it is for both children and parents to have help from people outside the family structure, including extended family members, teachers, neighbors, and other pillars of community support. In a society that is as individualistic as ours, one where community care is often considered overly woke, this is an amazingly collective phrase!
If children truly are the future, then we all should be deeply committed to the well-being of younger generations.
8. ‘Money can’t buy happiness’
In many ways, baby boomers exemplify the truth behind the phrase “Money can’t buy happiness.” While they’re wealthier than every generation following behind them and were the generation that motivated the "greed is good" era of the 1980s, boomers are living proof that money can provide access and stability, but it doesn’t make people feel fulfilled.
As certified life coach Kelly Rudolph shares, “There's more to happiness than just experiences and fleeting moments.” True happiness “starts with developing regular habits that increase your mental health and emotional state each day.”
Spending money might give you a temporary boost, but long-lasting happiness has less to do with what you own and way more to do with the relationships you cultivate and your outlook on the world.
9. ‘Think before you speak’
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This phrase upholds the idea that communication is based on basic human decency and mutual respect and that we have a responsibility toward one another to be kind whenever possible. It also encourages mindfulness and putting empathy into action.
A lack of empathy keeps people at a distance from each other, making it hard for them to locate compassion for anyone else. Without empathy, we push people away and create a dog-eat-dog world where nobody can truly trust one another.
This seems like common sense, but when boomers falling into a habit of saying, "Everyone is so sensitive these days" or "Don't be such a snowflake!" it is surprising to hear them say something as woke as "think before you speak".
10. ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right’
This common phrase encourages people to take careful consideration of how their behavior impacts others. It’s a nod toward holding oneself accountable, in that it asks people not to jump into vengeful action, but rather, to take the high road.
Revenge might feel good momentarily, but ultimately, it only perpetuates cruelty and harm. When you ask someone to consider this classic phrase, you're reminding them of their values and encouraging them to hold true to what they know is right, even when someone else has made an immoral choice. And what could be more woke than trying to rise above a "lowest common denominator" culture?
11. ‘What goes around comes around’
The common phrase “what goes around, comes around” captures the Western interpretation of karma, maintaining that “good deeds will be rewarded with good results, with the opposite for bad deeds.”
The concept of karmic retribution might seem far out for a lot of Boomers, but the idea that what goes around, comes around, is rooted more in reciprocity than any cosmic belief system. Reciprocity is based on human decency. It upholds the belief that you should treat people well if you want to be treated well. When you’re offered respect, returning that respect is the best way forward.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
