Carl Jung Says If You've Avoided These 6 Things By 70, You've Lived An Exceptionally Successful Life
Steshka Willems | Canva In 1960, a journalist called Gordon Young asked Swiss psychotherapist Carl Jung, “What do you consider to be more or less basic factors making for happiness in the human mind?” Carl Jung answered in this order:
- Good physical and mental health
- Good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships
- The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature
- Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work
- A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life
These are all the things Carl Jung valued and recommended to people looking to build a good life. But in true Carl Jung fashion, he also balanced this with recommending six things not to do.
Carl Jung says if you've avoided these 6 things by 70, you've lived an exceptionally successful life:
1. You avoid confusing your persona with your true self
Carl Jung often warned against confusing our persona (the social mask we wear) with our true self. Boy, have I paid the price for this in my life. For two decades, I was the perfect chameleon. Always adapting to other people’s needs. Always able to fit in. But it came at the cost of never allowing myself to be myself.
I had built up a reputation of being the nice guy, the polite guy, the always available guy, so to not be those things was terrifying.
“The persona is that which in reality one is not, but which oneself, as well as others, think one is.” — Carl Jung
Of course, I am all of those things. I love with a big open heart, I adore the world and the people in it, and I have an insatiable curiosity for things outside and inside of myself. But I’m not always that way, and that’s what I failed to accept for so many years.
If we live only to please social expectations or roles, we risk losing contact with our authentic selves, and that’s a high price to pay.
2. You avoid repressing the dark parts of yourself
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Carl Jung believed that denying or repressing the darker aspects of our personality leads to neurosis and/or projection. In my case, it led to chronic anxiety and an inflamed gut.
My shadow was a bucket load of rage that burned a hole in my heart and a deep well of shame that threatened to drown me. I repressed the heck out of both of those things for as long as possible until they started manifesting in other ways.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” ― Carl Jung
It was only when I stopped pretending I was only “good” that I could integrate these harder aspects of myself and work on them with compassion and love.
3. You avoid following dogma blindly
Carl Jung cautioned against letting religion, ideology, or teachers replace our own inner experience. When I didn’t know who I was, I found it exciting and relieving to be told what to think, say, and do, especially when what I was being taught aligned with my values in life.
The trouble came when those people were no longer around, and I couldn’t rely on them anymore. I had to fend for myself, but I didn’t know what I was fending for. That’s the cost of imitating others. It’s scary to be alone. Silence is loud. And there’s a sense of not belonging because we don’t belong to ourselves.
“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.” ― Joseph Campbell
4. You avoid being one-sided
Carl Jung often spoke about the danger of overdeveloping one function of ourselves (like intellect) at the expense of others (like feeling).
I’ve done this so many times in my life, it’s not even funny. Growing up, it was dangerous to feel, so I started philosophizing. Then, when I started meditating, I forgot about looking after my body.
One-sidedness ultimately leads to imbalance. To find wholeness, I learned I had to feel and philosophize, meditate, and work out. This is true in my romantic relationships, resolving conflicts, and work-life balance, too.
“Every psychic extreme is followed by a compensation; hence the wise man avoids the extremes of his own nature.” — Carl Jung
5. You avoid disconnection from the unconscious
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Carl Jung saw the unconscious as a vital source of creativity, wisdom, and renewal. Ignoring it can lead to spiritual emptiness.
“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.” — Carl Jung
The trouble with the unconscious mind is that it will start to do more and more extreme things to get noticed. At first, it might disturb sleep by using dreams to convey a message it wants to express. If that doesn’t work, it will try to create events outside in waking life that reflect what’s happening inside. Lastly, if all of that fails, it will use the body to create illness and disease.
I learned too late (after all of those things happened) that it’s far scarier and more unpredictable than doing the work on myself voluntarily.
6. You avoid living without meaning
For Carl Jung, the greatest danger in life was living without a purpose. This looks very different for everyone, and it can change throughout life.
When I was growing up, football was my life. Then I fell in love with the ocean and travelled the world scuba diving. Then I started meditating and practicing breathwork and became fascinated by my inner world and with my connection to the divine. Now, one of my main passions is writing.
“The lack of meaning in life is a soul sickness whose full extent and import our age has not yet begun to comprehend.” — Carl Jung
Meaning and purpose can come through material or external goals – but I found those to be more fleeting. A meaningful life for me now echoes what Carl Jung told the young journalist in 1960.
- Good physical and mental health
- Good relationships with others and myself
- An appreciation and curiosity of the world and life itself
- Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work
- A philosophical or spiritual point of view that’s able to hold the paradoxes of life.
Throw in a little adventure and play, and it doesn't get much better than that.
Andy Murphy is a full-time writer and breathwork facilitator. His articles have received over half a million views across the internet. His mission is simple: to write and breathe a better world into existence.
