Bride ‘Heartbroken’ After Learning Why Her Best Friend Refuses To Be Her Maid Of Honor
There was zero amount of convincing the bride-to-be could do to have her friend be a part of the wedding.
DexonDee | Shutterstock A bride-to-be questioned whether she was overreacting after asking her best friend if she would be the maid of honor in her wedding and receiving a devastating response. Posting about the dilemma to the subreddit "r/AmIOverreacting," the 25-year-old shared screenshots of the text conversation she had with her best friend, who confessed that insecurity about her weight was the reason she didn't want to be in her wedding.
The two best friends couldn't even come to a compromise. Her best friend was adamant about not being involved in the wedding. In fact, she was even struggling with the idea of attending as a guest.
A bride was 'heartbroken' after learning that her best friend's insecurity about her weight was why she refused to be her maid of honor.
"I love my bestie. She's currently living in Canada while I'm back home in America. On a video chat, I asked her to be my maid-of-honor. I was stunned when she declined because of her weight. I was so stunned, all I said was 'okay,'" she began in her Reddit post.
She explained that she ended up messaging her friend on Instagram, thinking it was just a momentary lapse in judgment or that she had been playing some kind of prank. But she quickly learned that her friend was being quite serious. In a screenshot of their messaging, the bride-to-be questioned whether her friend was truly not interested in being her maid of honor because she was overweight.
Reddit
"I'm 100% serious," she answered. "I appreciate the offer but I have declined. Your wedding is too last minute. March of 2026 is too short of a time to expect me to get wedding ready."
The bride tried to argue that she wants her best friend at the wedding, no matter what size she is.
Despite the bride's insistence, she still wasn't convinced. She pointed out that it was really sweet for her friend to be so gracious, but that she just wouldn't understand how she felt. "If you ever become obese, you'll understand. I'm not wishing obesity on you. Trust me, you don't understand," her friend continued. "The best I can do is come as a guest. Even if that is hard for me."
And while this is undoubtedly heartbreaking for the bride and hard for many outsiders looking in to understand, one commenter summed up the best friend's insecurity perfectly. "It's not overreacting to have strong emotions to this. It's painful on multiple levels." They went on to say, "She's partially protecting herself here from months of fear and anxiety over her weight, which sounds like is already a huge mental burden on her. She was honest with you, which probably wasn't easy for her. I've gone through some intense weight gain and loss, and it does a number on your head ... I went looking through my messages for something a friend said once that stuck with me. 'Living in a body people hate is too much. I tried for years and burned out like a dying star.'"
The most saddening part of the entire exchange was at the end: her friend seemed convinced she would never be in a position to get married, even after the bride-to-be insisted that, when the time came, she would be a maid of honor in her ceremony. "Hopefully, one day, I can lose the weight, get a man, then get married."
Negative self-talk is much more common than most people realize.
Evgeny Haritonov | Shutterstock
If you think this bride-to-be's friend is going overboard by refusing to be in a wedding due to her insecurity, stop for a second and think about what you say about yourself when you look in the mirror. Are you always kind? Do you find fault in your facial structure, hair, height, or even the shape of your eyebrows? There's not much difference in your own negative self-talk as the bride's best friend.
In fact, Americans think negatively about their bodies an average of four times a day, according to a survey from Talker Research and Eden Health. Fifteen percent of respondents admitted that they "actively avoid social situations due to how they feel in their body." That's exactly what this friend is doing.
It's not easy existing in this world as someone in a bigger body, especially when everything about a wedding, from the dresses to the endless photos, puts your biggest insecurity on display for everyone to see. The way we view ourselves can truly have an impact on the relationships that we have with people, especially the ones who love us the most.
When someone is struggling with their self-image, it doesn't just affect how they see themselves but how they think others will see them as well. It can be easier said than done to try and assure someone that they're incredibly beautiful and they don't need to change a single thing about themselves. Even if you say all the right things, at the end of the day, it's up to them to find that confidence within themselves.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
