5 Behaviors Of Women Who Become More Confident And Appealing As They Age, According To Psychology
Confidence and appeal don't have to fade with age.
Thurtell | Canva Being a confident and appealing woman who ages well is the goal of every woman I know — and it should be. Everyone is plagued with emotional issues from their past and present, and, as a result, they can bring you down.
They can make it impossible for you to be your true self and get the life and the love that you want. Most confident, appealing women get what they want every time. So, this should be the best motivation for striving to be a woman who ages with confidence and grace.
Here are five behaviors of women who become more confident and appealing as they age, according to psychology:
1. She knows what she wants
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The number one defining trait of a confident and appealing woman is that she knows what she wants. A confident and appealing woman has taken the time to define what is important to her so that she can live the life she wants to lead.
Instead of saying she wants "to be happy" in her relationship, she is more specific. She wants quality time, she wants to feel loved, she wants to trust her person, and she wants open communication.
Once she knows what she wants, she can go after it.
She can ask her partner for quality time, help him understand what she needs to feel loved, speak up if she feels like he is being dishonest, and encourage both of them to communicate effectively.
If you can take the time to figure out what you want, you will be one step closer to being the confident and appealing woman you want to be.
2. She is willing to ask for what she wants
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Many of my clients have some sense of what they want in a relationship but find that they are unwilling or unable to ask for it.
They say they want quality time, but they pretend they're OK when their partner goes out again. They say they want trust but don’t speak up when they're being deceived.
Instead of encouraging conversation, they are passive-aggressive and close down when they are upset. An essential part of being a confident and appealing woman means not only knowing what you want but also being able to reach out and take it.
Can you stand up for yourself in a relationship? Can you tell your partner what you want and need and not settle for anything less?
If you can, you are being a confident and appealing woman, one who can find the love and happiness that she desires. A 2014 study suggested that building confidence and embracing assertiveness empowers women to express their needs effectively, navigate challenging situations, and foster stronger, more fulfilling connections. Speaking up for one's needs can help reduce frustration, stress, and anger that may arise from unmet needs.
3. She values herself
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I have a client who is a psychiatrist and has been professionally trained to help people process their thoughts and work through issues. She's very good at what she does. Unfortunately, when she gets into a relationship, she brings her training with her.
And what happens? She gives and she gives and she gives to her partner, helping them process their challenges. She wants to help them find health and happiness, just like she does with her clients. And, in the process, she lets herself be sucked dry.
A confident and appealing woman will make sure that she values herself in a relationship. She is willing to love but also to be loved. She does things for her person but allows them to be done for her too. She knows that she deserves to be loved and respected, and she follows through on it.
What are you like in a relationship? Do you give and give and give and expect nothing in return? Is doing so sucking you dry?
If yes, take a step back and start asking for what you need. If your partner isn’t willing to try to give it to you, walk away. A confident and appealing woman would do just that!
4. She has control of her emotions
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Are you one of those people who get angered easily? Does it take no more than a few eye rolls to trigger you to yell and scream?
Are you someone who cries at the drop of a hat? Someone who no one can talk to because you are so sensitive and fragile? Are you someone who gets up and walks away when something isn’t going the way you want it to?
A confident and appealing woman doesn’t do any of those things. A confident and appealing woman takes a deep breath when she feels anger rising.
She doesn’t stifle her tears, but she doesn’t let them interfere with processing an issue. And she never, ever walks away from a situation. She stays and she deals and she settles the tab.
Pay attention to your emotions. Having control of them will help you get the life and the love that you want.
A 2021 study found that developing strong emotional control is essential for women to cultivate authentic confidence and excel in all aspects of life. While societal pressures and biases may present challenges, leveraging self-awareness, emotional regulation techniques, and supportive networks can empower confident women to navigate these complexities and thrive.
5. She doesn’t waste any time
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"Life is short" is the motto of any confident and appealing woman. Have you been stuck in a toxic relationship, hoping for things to change, hoping for things to go back to the way they were, hoping that your person will just become the person you know they could be?
Have you been waiting for days, months, or even years for this to happen?
A confident and appealing woman doesn’t do that. A confident and appealing woman identifies the issues in her relationship, is proactive in trying to fix them, and, if she can’t, she walks away.
She doesn't entertain excuses about how she isn’t a quitter or how, if she just loves him enough, he will change. She recognizes when done is done and moves on.
And that is why a confident and appealing woman gets what she wants in a relationship every time. She knows that the longer she sticks around, the less likely it is that she will find the love that she wants and deserves.
Being confident in your relationships is worth it. A confident and appealing woman knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it. She values herself, she controls her emotions, and she doesn’t waste any time.
Getting the life that you want is possible — you just need to find that strong inner you.
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals who strive to heal their toxic relationships so they can have their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.
