Artist Shows Two Women How They Look Through Each Other's Eyes — 'We Rarely See Ourselves The Way The World Sees Us'
We really are our own harshest critics.
cottonbro studio | Pexels When the internet is full of airbrushed models, plastic surgery, and beauty filters, it's all too easy to focus on your self-perceived flaws. Yet, one artist proved that no one else is judging your appearance as harshly as you are.
Devon Rodriguez is a New York City artist. In a heartwarming TikTok, he used his art to conduct an experiment of sorts, allowing two women to see how they look to the rest of the world.
The artist showed two women how they look through each other's eyes.
"I've drawn thousands of people, and one thing that I learned is that we rarely see ourselves the way the world sees us," Rodriguez explained.
Two women were chosen for his video and told they would have a conversation about self-love. One at a time, they sat back to back with Rodriguez in a subway station. He did not see either of their faces.
He asked each woman to describe herself — her hair, her chin, her lips, her most prominent feature — as he sketched what she described. Both women spent time focusing on the features they disliked about their appearance, often noting what they wished were different.
One woman complained that her chin had become "jowly" as she aged, while the other wished that her upper lip were a bit fuller. Both woman lamented that they have wrinkles around their eyes.
Each woman was then asked to describe the other woman instead of themselves.
Before filming began, the two women were told to make friends with each other. Rodriguez then made a second sketch of each woman based on the other person's description of her. These were far more complementary.
"I met this lovely lady," one of the women said. "One of the things that I remember most about her was that she had this incredible skin. It was, like, dewy and iridescent."
"The first thing I saw was just this really big smile," the other woman described. "She was just so vibrant."
They both gushed about the other woman's features, not mentioning a single negative or flaw. They complemented each other's eyes without describing wrinkles, and even their voices changed, becoming more tender when describing the other woman.
When the drawings were revealed, the difference between how they described themselves and the other woman was evident.
Rodrigues revealed the drawings. In both cases, the sketch created based on the other woman's description was far more flattering. Perhaps surprisingly, they were also more accurate, proving we judge ourselves far too harshly.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
"Do you think you're more beautiful than you say?" Rodrigues asked. "I do," one of the women responded. "This is making me so emotional," the other woman said, tearfully hugging the artist.
Research shows that we are our own harshest critics when it comes to our looks.
A 2020 study conducted at the University of Barcelona put this to the test. "Using virtual reality technology, researchers demonstrated that participants rated their own body as much more attractive when they were able to view it from a third-person perspective," John Anderer reported for The Ladders.
For the study, each participant completed a survey about their body shape perception. Then, the Experimental Virtual Environments (EVENT) Lab at the University of Barcelona created three avatars for each participant "The first avatar was based on participants’ self-reported body measurements to the best of their recollection, the second was based on their ideal body, and the third was made using their exact, legitimate body measurements," Anderer explained.
Each participant was then put in a virtual reality simulation to view all three of the avatars twice, once from a first-person perspective and then from a third-person perspective. They were then asked to rate the bodies' attractiveness.
"Our results suggest that a change in perspective affected the evaluation of the attractiveness of a virtual body," lead author Dr. Solène Neyret reported. "For female participants, when the same virtual body was perceived from a third-person perspective, it was evaluated as more attractive than when it was perceived from a first-person perspective."
Admittedly, the study was limited, consisting of only 11 men and 12 women. Yet, the results powerfully support the message of Rodriguez's video.
If we could see ourselves the way the rest of the world does, we would be far less critical. So, go easy on yourself. No one else sees your supposed imperfections. You are more beautiful than you think.
Audrey Jaber is a writer and associate editor with a bachelor's degree in journalism.
