The Art Of Being A Respected Person: 5 Simple Habits Of Naturally Respected People
Respect has little to do with power or status when it comes down to it.
terimakasih0 | Canva Watch people who naturally command genuine respect, and you'll notice they never seem to be trying too hard to get it. Instead, they possess a certain quality of character that draws others to them naturally.
This is a way of existing through the world that makes people want to listen when they speak and seek their counsel when decisions matter. These aren't dramatic changes, but minuscule actions that compound over time into something remarkable: a reputation built on substance rather than image.
Here are five simple habits of naturally respected people:
1. They take their time
Time seems to move more slowly for many respectable people who can command a room. You know this because you've seen it in action.
These people seem to exert an invisible force on the particles around them in their non-rushed, calm demeanor. This sends powerful signals that reflect a higher status, whether earned or not. They create a relaxed reality that people jump right into.
2. They ignore negative attention
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Research on the psychology of respect found that the most respectable people are masters at subtly reinforcing the reality that they are not to be disrespected and do not tolerate drama. But they don’t do as 99% of people do, which is reacting angrily and having a child-like outburst.
They have mastered the art of ignoring bad behavior and rewarding good behavior with more attention. At the very least, they may make light of a jab rather than ignore it, which is also effective. This subtle exertion of boundaries is felt strongly and rarely fails to demonstrate confidence and power.
3. They're not 'nice' all the time
In a world where almost everyone is trying to be super-duper extra ‘nice,’ you bring a whole new vibe when you can sometimes let go of this need. Respectable people, while always kind, are often slower to show niceness, which reflects a higher position in the pecking order. People can see they have little need for this often overused and manipulative tool.
Tease people after you have gotten to know them a little. Show some pride. Be occasionally brutally honest — but only if it serves a purpose. Research has recommended being okay with not always appearing so nice, and you will instantly rise to the invisible social hierarchy.
4. They get to the heart of things
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Most people undermine the truth in their attempts to fit in, avoid offending, and stand out too much. We’re far too afraid of the perceived consequences of confrontation. We choose instead to do everything we can to ensure everyone feels okay to avoid being on the receiving end of criticism, which we believe will painfully lower our self-esteem.
The most respectable people go the other way. They actively seek to get to the heart of matters because they know that denying the truth is harmful in the long run for everyone. They take the leadership position. They ask the tough questions and say what is only on the minds of most. To go against the grain like this garners tremendous respect.
5. They never take things too personally
It’s always a fascinating phenomenon for me to watch someone (or myself in retrospect) take something personally and then see the loss of respect this often prompts in the other person. Funnily, making others respect you leads to them disrespecting you even more. Why does reacting to criticism have this effect? Surely there is strength in wanting to protect yourself?
Taking things personally is, in fact, a very immature act. It transmits very clearly that you lack emotional control and perceive yourself to be someone of such low worth that you suffer when there is further perceived loss.
Truly confident people know that there is never anything they can lose at the psychological and spiritual level. They also know that other people can’t possibly lower their self-esteem — because it is merely an illusion — so they act like it. They behave calmly, lightly, and gracefully, like they have nothing to lose, which is felt and respected by the people around them.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
