The Art Of Being Unbothered: 3 Simple Ways To Gain True Happiness
Cecilie_Arcurs | Canva We all want to feel happy and unbothered by the stuff that used to stress us out, but most of us have no clue where to actually start. The good news is that real lasting happiness isn't nearly as complicated or impossible as everyone makes it seem.
I've found the key to complete happiness. After years and years of collecting information and tips from all around the world, I've come up with my complete happiness guide. And, lucky you, I'm going to share it with you.
Here are three simple ways to gain true happiness:
1. Start doing things you fear
To reach a state of complete happiness and maintain it with minimal ups and downs, push your comfort zone regularly and embrace rocking the boat. Most people believe that happiness requires stability and a cozy comfort zone. I say that happiness is found outside of your comfort zone. You must dare in life by doing the things you fear most and consciously seeking circumstances that challenge you.
Routine kills our imagination and creative spirit. Sure, we've sold the idea that happiness means having a nice house, a nice job, nice things, and a nice partner. But how is that working for you so far? Nothing is for certain—we are here today, and we do not know how long we have to feel satisfied and rich in experiences. Feeling full of life is the best complete happiness anyone can experience.
Studies show that people who regularly push themselves outside their comfort zone and do things that make them uncomfortable actually end up way happier than people who play it safe. This works especially well if you're already feeling kind of unhappy, because when you take on scary challenges and realize you can handle them, it builds your confidence and literally makes you feel better about life in general.
If happiness and a fulfilled life are your goal, start by doing that one thing you feel the most fear and dread about. Doing so skyrockets your confidence and renews your sense of self. In short, overcoming this challenge will put fire in your veins! What can you do today to stretch your comfort zone and feel alive?
2. Hold space for how you feel
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I don't know how I ever believed that there were good feelings and bad feelings. Once I let go of the judgment, accepted that feelings are just feelings, and allowed myself to experience them all, I reached a much deeper sense of happiness.
I once believed that you can only be happy when you feel happy, when everything is going your way. It was only when I accepted anger, sadness, and grief as part of life that I actually gained a better hold on my own happiness.
Research on happiness found that truly feeling content with your life means being able to sit with all your emotions, including the crappy ones. Real happiness isn't about feeling good all the time but about letting yourself experience whatever comes up because when you stop fighting against negative emotions and just accept them, you actually become more resilient and way more satisfied with your life.
Now, when sadness comes, I ride it like a wave and treat it like when happiness comes; they are both just feelings, and they both come and go. So, know that achieving happiness doesn't mean you always feel happy, as that is humanly impossible.
Complete happiness simply means that you have your feelings in check (congratulations, you're a grown-up) and you are authentic in whatever experiences you have in any given moment. Life happens. Stop resisting it. It's in dancing with ever-changing circumstances that complete happiness reveals itself. What feelings do you need to conquer for a happier life?
3. Put yourself in charge of your life
Last but not least, I now accept that no magic elixir will transform my life and bring me fulfillment. I'm done with the false belief that happiness is linked to the external world, material possessions, and random circumstances.
People who believe they're in control of their own lives are significantly happier than people who think everything happens because of luck or fate or other people, research has shown. When you take personal responsibility for your happiness instead of waiting for external things to fix your life, you make better choices that actually lead to fulfillment because you're actively creating the life you want instead of just hoping it happens to you.
Stop expecting a prince or a princess to show up and make your life all perfect. Whether that prince or princess symbolizes a job, a person, or money, you're still linking your joy to something outside yourself.
Embrace that you are the sole and exclusive creator of your happiness. Put yourself in charge of your happiness (you'll find it's far more rewarding). Clarify and align your values, your life purpose, and your goals, and create the foundation on which your happiness rests. What can you do to put yourself in charge of your happiness?
So, pretty simple, right? 3 tips that will transform your life. Here's a reminder of my "complete happiness" formula:
- Happiness and uncomfortableness go hand in hand.
- All feelings are equal.
- You are the only creator of your happiness.
Being happy is a social responsibility because when we stretch and grow and are lit up by new shades of happiness, everyone around us benefits as a result.
Monica Magnetti is a Certified Life/Business Coach and the author of 30 Days to a New You.
