The Art Of Being A Satisfied Person: 9 Simple Habits Of People Who Are Genuinely Satisfied With Their Lives
Anna Tarazevich | Unsplash There are plenty of people who, because of life changes and events, find themselves caught in an emotional rut. You're not alone in feeling sad and lost when your kids grow up and leave for college, or feeling unfulfilled in your friendships, or like you wish something would change in your marriage.
The truth is, you don't have to settle for what you don't want; rather, you have to learn how to accept yourself, and then watch happiness unfurl as you learn to radically love and accept whatever it is that holds you back from experiencing unconditional love and genuine satisfaction in your life.
No doubt, learning to love yourself unconditionally is really hard. We asked multiple love and relationship experts to share how you can learn how to love yourself and achieve the kind of happiness and life satisfaction that lasts. Here's what they said:
Here are 9 simple habits of people who are genuinely satisfied with their lives:
1. They forget the standard advice
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“Forget about finding your passion and focus on finding what's right for you right now. There's a huge myth going on right now that to be happy and fulfilled, you have to find your passion and do what you love.
The problem with passion is that it takes years to figure out what's going to move and motivate you enough to push through the hard times, persevere under stress, and do it all with a sense of elation and purpose. Passion is the result of a multi-year, multi-decade process.
It involves understanding what you're good at, what you enjoy, and practicing it in a context that works for you. So I say, forget finding your passion. Work on understanding what's right for you right now and develop the patience to hone that into a skill, then a talent, and finally, with experience, practice, and time, a passion.”
—Dr. Alessandra Wall, clinical psychologist
2. They write their own story
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“Just by living it, you are the author of your own life. No matter what’s happening (or not) in your current chapter, you always have the power and the right to choose the events, improve the storyline, and even recast the characters to create a 'true-life story' worth living.”
—Barbara Schiffman, life and synergy coach
3. They accept what they can't change
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"When we resist, deny, or avoid, we delay the opportunity for happiness. What we accept and face, we conquer, and begin to move toward happiness again. When we can accept, rather than expect, we have fewer disappointments.
With acceptance, we create the courage to alter our perception, belief, and attitude regarding difficult life experiences. Acceptance begins the way to alter one's life toward inner happiness and peace. It's an act of love and a forward-moving energy. Acceptance expands the mind to different possibilities and opens the heart to make possibilities our reality.”
—David Schroeder, therapist
4. They appreciate the now
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“'Remember: the present is perfect.' I love that phrase — not because it always feels that way, but because it reminds me to take a deep breath, broaden my perspective, and find the lessons and hidden gems that exist even in the toughest times.
Accepting yourself and your life as it is right now — the good, the bad, and the ugly — doesn’t mean you throw up your hands, saying 'too bad, that’s just the way it is' and give up on your commitment to self-improvement or changing the world. Instead, it allows you to push the mute button on your snarky inner critic (the sworn enemy of self-acceptance) so you can re-focus on what's right and positive and “perfect” in your life.”
—Deborah Roth, Interfaith minister
5. They find the silver lining
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“Find the silver lining that helps you focus on all the positive things daily. When we have an approach/attitude of appreciation:
- Our unconscious mind attracts more of whatever we are grateful for
- Our mental and emotional health improves
- Our thought patterns become more positive, leading to living healthier lives
This leaves you open-minded, flexible, and ready to ‘play the cards’ life dealt you.”
—Elsa Cronje, transformation coach
6. They give themselves a break
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“Embracing yourself as you are while becoming your best self is essential to feeling good about where you’re at while taking steps towards what you most want. In that space is where you’ll love your life since you’ll be more resourceful, approach things in an easy manner, and get better results.
So here’s a 3-step approach you can take when you’re not loving your life: 1. Be compassionate with yourself; 2. Focus on something you can accept and love now; and 3. Make choices in favor of your desires. By taking that approach, the life you desire will come to fruition, and fleeting happiness will make way for real and lasting joy.”
—Janet Ong Zimmerman, relationship coach
7. They know the grass is not always greener
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“Remember, no matter how messed up you think you are, someone is watching your life. They’re thinking, ‘If I just had her looks, or income, or husband or family, or job, or confidence, or education (get the idea), my world would amazing.’ From their outside view, you are doing it all so much better than they are.”
—Jennifer Hunt, holistic life coach
8. They find peace within themselves — not from another person
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“My path to acceptance is paved by trust. Trust that there is something far greater than me, which guides me to the perfect experiences and relationships that bring growth and healing. On this journey, I am guided to return to my core wisdom, that non-judgmental and compassionate part of me that can simply love and be at peace. Only from this core can I fully accept my life situation, others, and myself, and this brings with it deep contentment and happiness.”
—Mandy Agnew, Ph.D., therapist
9. They remember who is the most influential over their happiness
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“Happiness is a process you can ignite within yourself ─ where you have the most influence. With so much in flux around you, use your values, choices, and actions to create a secure base for sustaining real happiness that lasts. Your powers of insight and intuition will clarify your hopes and dreams.
Also, attend to cues from people you trust and make mistakes and detours sources for learning. Enjoy exploring and integrating these suggestions and new possibilities while using your authentic voice. Then you’ll have keys for improving what makes you happy today and to carry that creatively forward into a life you continue to love.”
—Ruth Schimel, Ph.D., career consultant
Aria Gmitter is YourTango's Senior Editor of Horoscopes and Spirituality. She graduated from the Midwestern School of Astrology and has been a practical astrologer for 40 years.
