The Art Of Being Radiant: 5 Habits Of Naturally Radiant People
Discover how to take better care of yourself and nurture your most radiant self.
Phúc Phạm | Pexels When was the last time you did something really yummy for yourself, just because? I hope you’re not wracking your brain to come up with something, but if you are, you’re not alone. Many of us — especially women — are socialized to take care of everyone else first, and we’re called "selfish" if we object.
The reality, though, is that if you don’t take time for some mind, body, and soul nurturing, every part of your life suffers — your work, your children, and your relationships. I’ve learned from experience that if I’m not taking care of myself, I become more and more scattered, ungrounded, miserable, and definitely not fun to be around. Naturally radiant people don't glow by accident. These five habits create a kind of effortless brightness that others can feel the moment they walk into a room.
Here are five habits of naturally radiant people:
1. They exercise regularly
Let’s start with an easy one. It's easy because it’s so obvious, but not necessarily because it’s always easy to do. You don’t have to be a marathon runner, swimmer, or cyclist to reap the benefits of exercise, nor do you have to become a gym rat. The simple act of walking is a great low-impact cardio workout. Try walking to work or getting off the bus or subway a few stops early on the way home.
Studies show that just 30 minutes of exercise can dramatically reduce the risk of heart disease and other illnesses and increase your life expectancy. It firms up flabby muscles, which helps you (and your partner) feel good about your body and, on a deeper level, sends the message that you’re serious about taking care of yourself and being around for the long haul.
2. They unclutter their lives
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It’s amazing how so many seemingly little things can become big energy drains if they’re not handled. So, make a list of everything you’re tolerating or putting up with. Some of them may take money to fix, but many are little annoyances that just need minimal attention — like greasing the squeaky hinges on the front door or finally cleaning out the spilled potato chips in the car. The more you unclutter your life and surroundings, the more you have the spaciousness to focus on what you really want.
If you’re someone who has a hard time turning your brain off, it can be hard to let go. You’ve got that "to-do" list running through your brain: kid #1 needs to get to dance class early, kid #2 has a science project due, and your assistant has to leave early tomorrow for a doctor’s appointment. These are not exactly energy drainers, but definitely distractions. Try doing a brain dump — it helps you shut down your monkey mind.
3. They remember to breathe
In fact, make a point to take five slow, deep breaths, several times a day — while you're sitting in traffic, on the subway, or holding for someone on the phone. If nothing else, you'll be re-oxygenating and re-activating your brain cells, ready to tackle the next project, challenge, or phone call. Just 2 or 3 minutes will calm your soul.
"By cultivating a relationship with your breath through regular practice," suggested personal development coach Patrick Williams, "you develop what is called interoceptive awareness, which is the ability to tune into your body's internal signals.
This heightened awareness reveals your internal state before your mind has even processed what you're feeling." You can take that same form of conscious breathing into your relationship by simply breathing in synch with your partner as you gaze into each other’s eyes. This might be just the vacation you’ve been looking for!
4. They set healthy boundaries
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We all know what we should do to protect our time and space, both at home and at work — close your door when you don't want to be interrupted, don’t pick up the phone, or say "no" to office gossip. Couples counselor Susan J. Elliott advised, "You have to have boundaries with parents, children, friends, lovers, work acquaintances, storekeepers, customer service representatives, bank tellers, the reservation clerks, the cat sitters, and the dog groomers. It is about taking care of yourself and letting people know they can’t invade the spaces you have defined as yours."
Creating firmer, healthier boundaries means enjoying more supportive relationships everywhere in your life and having more energy to do what you love in general. This can be a tricky one to bring to your life, but a vital one if your aim is full satisfaction.
5. They keep a little play in their day
We all need a regular dose of play to maintain optimal focus, balance, and creativity in our lives. Researchers studying the benefits of play for adults found, "Play remains crucial throughout the lifespan due to the significant role it plays in predicting adult wellbeing." So, when was the last time you saw-sawed or rode the swings with your kids or a friend?
How about keeping some jacks or a Frisbee in your desk drawer, or a yo-yo, or one of those little paddles with a ball attached, where you bat the ball as often as you whack your head?! That kind of physical play gets you out of your head and into your body, always a good de-stressing trick in the middle of a busy day.
When you become an expert at self-care on every level — mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually — you’re so much better equipped to handle whatever curveballs life throws at you. And with a little creativity, you can transfer those same ideas into the rest of your life.
When I’m working with couples, it becomes clear pretty quickly that if they’re having problems nurturing themselves, it’s almost impossible to be lovingly present to each other. I write and teach a lot about self-care — what I call "sacred self-centeredness" — and what I’ve discovered along the way is that powerful ripple effects happen when you focus on you. When you commit to an intentional practice of self-nurturing, everyone benefits.
I can’t think of a better way to take care of yourself than that, can you?
Deborah Roth is a Life & Career Transition Coach and Interfaith Minister who founded Spirited Living to help guide spirited women and men through life’s big changes with joy and ease.
