Quotes

28 Best 'Wedding Crashers' Quotes Of All Time

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jeremy grey wedding crashers quote

When the movie 'Wedding Crashers' came out, it became sort of a hysterical guide for single men trying to get with women — and it's one of those rom-coms that never gets old.

Whether it was a bridesmaid, a family member, or another guest, 'Wedding Crashers' gave tons of tips on how to be a womanizer, sneak into weddings, and bring home a babe.

Of course, in the film, not everything goes according to plan.

Vince Vaughn’s character, Jeremy Grey, falls in love with Gloria, the sister of Claire, whom John Beckwith, Owen Wilson’s character, is smitten with. The two men find themselves at odds with one another, questioning their set of wedding crasher rules.

Here are some of our favorite 'Wedding Crashers' quotes that continue to make us laugh since the film's 2005 release.

Best 'Wedding Crashers' Quotes

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1. “Don't waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper.” — John Beckwith

2. “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.” — John Beckwith

3. “True love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.” — Claire Cleary

4. “Love doesn't exist, that’s what I’m trying to tell you guys. And I’m not picking on love, ‘cause I don’t think friendship exists either.” — John Beckwith

5. “I’m sorry I called you a hillbilly. I don’t even know what that meant.” — John Beckwith

6. “Wow, getting a nice preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner here.” — Jeremy Grey

7. “Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bull’s eye.” — Jeremy grey

8. “I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?” — Jeremy Grey

9. “Oh, that's terrific! Why don't you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.” — Jeremy Grey

10. “I’m a little too traumatized to have a scone.” — Jeremy Grey

11. “A friend in need is a pest.” — Bobby Heenan

12. “I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it.” — Jeremy Grey

13. “You’re like that crazy guest who thinks he’s part of the family already.” — Claire Cleary

14. “Oh, he says he believes in art, but all I've seen him do is dribble his own blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick!” — William Cleary

15. "Last week I made, to scale, a balloon model of Wrigley Field. I don't have anywhere to put it." — Jeremy Grey

16. "I made you a painting. I call it "Celebration." It's sexual and violent. I thought you might like it." — Todd Cleary

17. "You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!" — Jeremy Grey

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Best 'Wedding Crashers' rules

18. Wedding Crashers Rule #3: When crashing an Indian wedding, identify yourself as a well-known immigrant officer or a county lawyer.

19. Wedding Crashers Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.

20. Wedding Crashers Rule #13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them.

21. Wedding Crashers Rule #19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.

22. Wedding Crashers Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.

23. Wedding Crashers Rule #23: There’s nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there’s enough women to go around.

24. Wedding Crashers Rule #39: The way to a woman’s bed is through the dance floor.

25. Wedding Crashers Rule #48: Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you’re there because you’ve just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancee.

26. Wedding Crashers Rule #55: If pressed, tell people you’re related to Uncle John. Everyone has an Uncle John.

27. Wedding Crashers Rule #94: Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors.

28. Wedding Crashers Rule #110: Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the girls will too.

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Samantha Maffucci is an editor for YourTango who focuses on writing trending news and entertainment pieces. In her free time, you can find her obsessing about cats, wine, and all things Vanderpump Rules.

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