Men With Low Morals & Huge Egos Often Do 5 Gross Things In Everyday Conversation
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock Ever had a moment when you tried to get a man to accept responsibility for something gross he did? I get it a lot in my articles: the “not all men,” the “it’s a people problem, not a man problem,” the “men worry, too,” or just telling me that I’m mental for expecting men to be decent people.
Sometimes, though, men tend to be very slick about how they avoid accountability. Misogynists don’t just “not all men” or whine their way into women’s aggravations. Sometimes, it’s a little more subtle. Ladies, if you notice any of these actions, make a point of dropping the conversation. He’s not okay, and he’s not safe.
Men with low morals and huge egos often do these gross things in everyday life:
1. Men like this often panic-deflect
fizkes | Shutterstock
Ladies, tell me, have you ever heard a man tell you a dealbreaker on a date, only to panic and come up with a totally nonsensical statement after you get up and make your way to the door? I have.
Panic deflections are statements people make when they realize they said the wrong thing, so they start trying to change the conversation to an argument they think they can win.
Or at the very least, it’s a statement or a sudden random act done to put a pause on the “dealbreaker” statement so they avoid accountability. In most cases, this means they push their deeds onto you.
For example, let’s take voting for Trump. A guy realizes a woman won’t stay with him when she finds out. He might panic-deflect by saying, “I was only doing it because I felt Trump was good for the economy…wait, don’t you even care about how many hard-working men are put out of jobs because of climate change?!”
Now, you get put on the defensive because you have to explain how you do care…Except you don’t care about the “poor widdle men”; you care that your rights just got taken away by people like him.
Or, another way of deflecting is to draw attention back to him in a different situation. I’ve seen men fake sick or pretend to have a sudden crisis so that the topic gets changed to something that involves caring for him.
How to stop him: I’ll just point this out. You can just get up and leave. Because he’s hoping that you will fall for his deflection to keep you there, wear you down, and let him sit with you. Or if you want to really make him squirm, tell him you’ll deal with the “crisis” after you deal with the first topic. Make him stick to the first conversation. Guys get so angry when they realize you won’t fall for it
2. They accuse or project
This is a common trick I’ve seen both men and women use when they’re cheating. When a misogynist gets caught in a situation where women talk about a valid problem (such as men attacking women), misogynists will often start accusing women of crimes they didn’t do — often the very ones the misogynists committed.
A misogynistic man I knew accused women of gold-digging. Yet, he had no problem asking women to let him move in with them. Yes, he had no home. No, he’d never have extended that same courtesy to a woman.
How to stop him: Simple: call out the misogyny. Explain how statistics either don’t tell the full story or actively show that he’s wrong. If he keeps complaining, just block him.
3. They equalize
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock
Oh, I see this a ton in my comments, often from men who just can’t stand the idea of women being mad enough to write off a whole gender. It often sounds like this:
- “It’s not just men, women do it too.”
- “I’ve heard men worry about being taken advantage of.”
- “Well, what about [man’s issue here]?”
This is to discredit the fact that women disproportionately suffer the majority of assaults and murders at the hands of their so-called male protectors. And it’s to minimize how there are entire systems in place to protect men who treat women that way.
How to stop him: I used to argue with men who did this. I realized that they never wanted to have a good-faith argument when they did this after a while. They know it’s messed up, but why would they want to dismantle the systems they benefit from?
The best way to deal with this is to block, ice him out, and refuse to engage. Or, if he’s present IRL, tell him, “You know, maybe you’re right. It sounds like women are a threat. Maybe you should leave them alone.”
4. Men with no morals make you feel insane on purpose
This has long been a tool of misogynists who want to make women feel defective for not being sweet and falling in line. Either they make them look crazy to others, act with feigned concern, or start psychoanalyzing women.
It could be the man who acts like you’re crazy for wanting to leave a date after he insults you. Or maybe it’s the loser who assumes that you have Daddy issues or that you need pills to function. They might give weird messages like, “Sending love and light. How are you? Are you okayyyyy?”
Ever notice how those men never take accountability for the pain women deal with because of men? Yeah, we know what that is. It’s men who hate women, who want to cover their own tracks by making the women they broke look defective.
How to stop him. Do not argue. Don't say another word, because anything you say or do will be used against you. This can actually get dangerous for the woman. Ghost, ghost, ghost!
5. Men with massive egos push responsibility onto you that's not yours
So, here’s the final tactic most misogynistic men use against women online. They will admit that there may be an issue, but hey, what can they do? In fact, why aren’t women working on all the things — like men’s domestic violence shelters?
I guess these people have never heard of the phrase, “You break it, you buy it.”
How to stop him: If they ask what they, personally, can do to change things, tell them some quick options. If they ask why women aren’t willing to work on ways to make things better, it’s generally best to just cut the conversation off — but not before you point out that you know what they are doing.
The sooner misogynists get called out on this stuff, the better off we’ll all be. Why? Because someone has to hold a mirror to their faces…right?
Why ghosting/non-engagement works well with men like this
So, misogynistic men are weird because they both hate women and want them at the same time. Ladies, I want you to read that again: misogynistic men hate you and want you at the same time.
But they don’t want you to love them, nor do they want a partner, no matter what they may be bleating about. From what I’ve noticed, men like these want to consume their partners, and they want to dominate those women who are not their partners.
In other words, they want women’s labor. They want their bodies and their compliance. They want women’s joy, their financial assets, and their freedom. But they don’t want you to be happy next to them.
They take, they use, then they discard you when you have nothing left. After they’ve had their fill of one woman, they will replace her with the next, and consume her the exact same way. After all, misogynists don’t like women — though they do need them.
That’s why men like this don’t care when women (even their spouses) are upset with them. They don’t see your tears as an issue because they are busy consuming you. It’s only when women leave or cut off contact that misogynists suddenly care.
The behaviors I mention here are done because they are part of the men’s toolkit when they want to keep women around them without forcing themselves to be held accountable for their abuse.
The best way to make men realize they can’t get away with their behavior is to cut them off entirely. Don’t engage with them, don’t talk to them, warn other women about them, and make a point of ousting them from social events.
By turning off the spigot, you reduce the number of victims men like these have access to. It’s really that simple.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
