People Who Get Irritated By Incompetence Usually Say 8 Phrases In Mind-Numbing Conversations
Mix and Match Studio | Shutterstock Incompetent people rarely change because the most unskilled folks also tend to be the most unaware of it.
So, the kinds of people who are irritated by this incompetence use certain phrases in mind-numbing, immature interactions. They're not interested in wasting their time making someone feel better about themselves, so they shut it down right away.
Phrases people say when they get irritated by incompetence
1. 'You should figure that out'
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When someone has a victim mentality, they want everyone to feel bad. They're not interested in taking accountability, so they shift the narrative to paint themselves as an innocent victim worthy of pity.
But many can't stand to be around these kinds of incompetent people, who need constant attention and validation to feel secure. So, they say "you should figure that out," instead of feeding into their story and giving them the mindless pity they think they deserve.
2. 'What'd you do to handle that?'
If someone wastes energy complaining about something over and over again, but hasn't taken any real action to change, they're just incompetent. For someone with little tolerance for this, "What'd you do to handle that?" is how they stop the conversation in its tracks.
They're not interested in soaking up the contagious energy of blame-shifting behavior, and they're even less willing to accept the negativity that a chronic victim brings to every conversation. How they respond to this question makes it clear whether they're trying to ask for advice and create change, or just seek attention and pity.
3. 'I don't have time right now'
Many incompetent people cling to people-pleasers because they can offload their emotions onto them without having to explain themselves. But in the face of much less tolerant people, they'll hear "I don't have time for this" in response to incompetent behavior.
These aren't the people who are going to add more work to their plates or waste their time trying to make a fully capable adult's life easier.
4. 'We're not getting anywhere'
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Many people who are wildly overconfident are compensating for a lack of something. No matter what evidence or differing opinions come up, they cling to their own perspective and their need to be right.
That's why it's so difficult to have productive conversations with these folks, because their overconfidence makes it impossible to change their minds.
Instead of blindly following these people's wishes, secure people walk away when they're irritated. They say "we're not getting anywhere" when they're not being heard or are feeling frustrated. It's because they care, not because they're avoidant.
5. 'That doesn't work for me'
Instead of pretending that everything is okay and trying to protect someone else's comfort, people irritated by incompetence confront it with security. They're not going to filter their emotions and needs to create a comfortable space for someone existing in incompetence.
Even if that means creating awkwardness in a conversation by saying "no" or "that doesn't work for me," they're not afraid to set their boundaries openly when they're irritated.
6. 'Sounds like you don't need me'
If someone's incompetent to the level of adopting blind confidence, it can be irritating to someone taking the time to help. They're not going to fight with someone to have a productive conversation. They're just going to walk away.
While some people-pleasers may spend tons of emotional energy convincing someone to listen to them, these people aren't interested. Despite making the same mistakes over and over again, they try to one-up people to boost their fragile ego.
7. 'Just let me do it'
To truly grow as adults and learn new skills, we have to be willing to work through discomfort. But incompetent people often avoid things they don't understand. They push challenging tasks off onto other people to protect their own comfort.
For these people who manipulate others by weaponizing their own incompetence, it really is easier for an exhausted, irritated person to say "just let me do it." They're not going to waste their energy listening to all the reasons why someone can't do something or learn.
8. 'Why are we overcomplicating this?'
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If someone needs to feel like they're the only person capable of doing a job or being smarter than everyone around them, they may overcomplicate things. Compared to smart, competent people who try to simplify things to make conversations more productive, these folks make things difficult to boost their own ego.
While some people turn a blind eye to this obviously insecure behavior, at their breaking point, an irritated person may say, "Why are we overcomplicating this?" They're sick of hearing "you just don't get it" and "it's okay if you don't understand" when there are plenty of better ways to solve problems.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
