7 Things Deeply Sad People Say When They Don't Want Anyone To Know How Miserable They Are
Irene Miller / Shutterstock It isn’t unusual for people to hide their feelings when those feelings aren't great. Most people in our lives seem to demand so much from us that it can be difficult to address every emotion that comes our way.
Still, we can’t bury our emotions for long without them revealing themselves through the things we unconsciously say and do. People who are experiencing deep sadness might think they've mastered hiding behind a smile or a calm expression, but the truth of how they are feeling often becomes clear the moment they start talking about just about anything.
When someone is deeply sad but doesn't want anyone to know how miserable they really are, they'll often say these things as an excuse
1. “I’m okay.”
It’s a simple phrase you might be used to hearing by now. However, it can be used to hide real emotions or thoughts. People who are deeply sad may say this as a defense mechanism to hide their true internal state and not draw attention to it.
This phrase can be used to stop any incoming questions and shift the direction of a conversation away from themselves. It allows the person to maintain a socially acceptable front for the time being instead of talking about their feelings with other people.
2. “Don’t worry about it.”
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Being independent is an important skill for all of us, but sometimes we have to lean on others for support. People who are struggling with their mental health may be reluctant to reach out for help. This could be due to being hyper-independent and having trouble accepting support.
They might not want others to worry about them. It could be because they believe they can handle their problems alone or that no one can help anyway. Being hyper-independent and not wanting others to be concerned about them could be a defense mechanism to avoid further hurt or disappointment, but it could also prevent the person from getting the proper help they need.
3. “It doesn’t matter.”
A person who is incredibly unhappy may say their feelings don't matter. This could be a way for them to invalidate their own sadness. They might believe their emotions are too much or too little. They may see themselves as irrational and think nobody would understand the way they are feeling.
It could also be a way to silence themselves and hide their pain from people who care about them. The person may want to prevent others from worrying about or stressing over them. They could believe their suffering may add to the problems their loved ones are experiencing in their own lives. By doing this, they are only keeping themselves miserable and isolated from people who care about them.
4. “I’m just tired today.”
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We all have our days where we just aren’t feeling ourselves. Still, a person who is suffering may use exhaustion or any other physical condition to hide their true feelings. Masking is when a person holds back their feelings to appear as if nothing is wrong in front of other people. Masking can be a useful skill in social environments, but it can also be used by someone who is sad or depressed.
There are several different ways a person may mask their problems. They may change their body language or say they are having an off day to hide their pain. They could do this because they don’t want their emotions to show. Other people may pick up on it and start asking questions in order to get to the bottom of what’s wrong with them.
5. “I don’t want to bother you.”
Everyone has their own inner world they are dealing with. A person who is having a hard time with their mental health may find it difficult to reach out to other people for help, even when they know they need to.
There are several reasons why they may do this. They might not think their feelings are serious enough, or they may not want to put their problems on another person and be a bother. It may only cause them more internal pain, so they push it all down and continue to hide it.
6. “I just need to get through the day.”
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Sometimes, people will say this phrase to express that they are overwhelmed in some way. It may be a sign of high-functioning depression in a deeply sad person. They push their problems under the surface so they are able to handle their responsibilities for that day.
The person might be running on autopilot and just trying to survive. However, this mindset can only last for so long. It can cause the person to shift their life from a meaningful experience to a series of tasks to complete.
7. "I'm just overthinking."
People who are deeply sad may have a pattern of having negative thoughts or beliefs about themselves. They might believe they are not lovable or a bad person. This phrase could be another negative thought they have about themselves. It's a way for them to dismiss their own suffering and invalidate it to you and themselves.
By framing their suffering as overthinking, they turn their feelings into a problem. They might see it as if their pain isn’t real and it is just them being dramatic or thinking too hard about it. They might think it protects them from feeling like a burden, but it only allows them to keep suffering in silence.
Aricka Croxton is a writer with a Bachelor’s Degree in Creative Writing from the University of Michigan who covers relationships, self-help, and wellness.
