People Who Are Getting Tired Of Always Being The Strong One Usually Say 6 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Mikhail Nilov | Pexels Solving everybody else's problems can feel overwhelming and exhausting.
For someone used to being the strong one in every situation, it can come to a point where they're so busy prioritizing others that they neglect themselves. They may often verbalize their struggle, and it's important that their loved ones pay attention.
Phrases people say when they're tired of always being the strong one
1. 'I don't know what to do'
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Not having an answer for something when you've always had a solution can make it feel like you're losing yourself. It's vulnerable to admit that, especially for a person who has constantly helped others.
But there will come a time when you don't have a solution to a problem. You're so tired of being strong that you become uncertain of what exactly to do. By confessing "I don't know what to do," it's a cry for help that someone is emotionally exhausted.
2. 'I'm exhausted'
If someone is physically and emotionally tired, they're likely more exhausted than they think. When someone's strength is starting to fizzle, especially after spending plenty of time being the strong one for everybody around them, it's jarring.
It feels like their brain has been drained of thoughts. And if you can't think, you can't act, and if you can't act, it's impossible to move through life. Your emotions can be all over the place and you might have a hard time making sense of what you're doing when that exhaustion sets in.
3. 'I can't deal with this'
Strong people are used to dealing with others' problems and fixing them. They solve everything for everybody else, but they're often overwhelmed after doing this for so long.
So, even if a friend asks them for something minor like a little favor or advice, it can have a major effect on their mental health. When they feel overly responsible for someone's happiness or emotions, it leads to overwhelm.
"It's easy to go too far. Do you take on everyone's tasks? ...Owning what's yours, mistakes and blunders included, is a sign of maturity. But owning everybody else's mistakes and blunders, not to mention tasks, duties, and emotions, is a sign of over-responsibility," clinical psychologist Ellen Hendriksen said.
4. 'I need to be okay'
This is perhaps the most telling phrase a person says when they're sick of being the strongest one in the room. When they say "I need to be okay" instead of just "I'm okay," they're in trouble.
To be okay means to hold yourself together and be strong. But when you acknowledge that you need to be okay, you recognize that your wants and needs are going unnoticed, but that you must carry on to take care of others.
According to leadership coach Kathy Caprino, "We unconsciously mimic the desires of others rather than engage in a process to identify and pursue what really matters most to us. Where instincts fail, we look to other people to show us what to want." So, for people like this, they're looking to those around them to tell them what they want, not what they really need, which is to rest.
5. 'I can't decide'
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A strong person who has been making choices for everybody else can struggle with decision fatigue. They're so used to being strong for everyone and having to choose for them that they end up carrying too much responsibility on their shoulders.
Even if someone tries to help, these people reject it because they're so accustomed to doing it all on their own. But it eventually comes to a point that they want someone else to be the strong one for once. They want to step back and trust others to take the lead so they can finally have a break.
6. 'I'm upset but I won't tell you why'
When people use this phrase, they're on the verge of breaking but are still trying to hold themselves together. They might admit that they're not in a good mood, but explaining why that is feels too exhausting.
They're tired of trying to protect their feelings. They're tired of giving all their mental and emotional energy to others. But instead of pushing their feelings down, they try to seek acceptance. In the end, they want someone to know they're upset without having to elaborate.
Allison Peterson is a writer with a degree in English from the University of Nevada, Reno. She writes on relationships, lifestyle, and mental health topics.
