8 Classic Household Rules From The 70s, 80s & 90s That Most Modern Parents Have Completely Abandoned
Vlada Karpovich | Pexels Generational tensions and differences still exist today due to constantly changing parenting styles and household rules.
How parents decide to parent their children and what expectations they set at home all look wildly different. But the household rules parents had in the 70s, 80s and 90s have been almost abandoned by parents today, who have grown anxious and overprotective of their kids.
Household rules from the 70s, 80s, and 90s that most parents today have abandoned
1. Being home before streetlights turned on
Jacek Chabraszewski | Shutterstock
Unsupervised play was a norm for so many households just a few decades ago. But as more parents have become more anxious about the safety of their kids, it's quickly going away.
Unfortunately, these moments of independence are what build children's self-reliance and emotional regulation, as well as their learning skills and independence.
Without the freedom to explore and deal with challenges without immediately running to their parents for help, they grow into dependent and anxious adults.
2. Forcing kids to clean their plates
Experts suggest that to teach children healthy eating habits and behaviors, they should feel a sense of ownership over how much they eat. While the intentions were mostly good for parents who expected their kids to clean their plate before leaving the dinner table, many were forced to ignore their own cravings and bodies to please their parents.
Adults today consider more mental health and eating behaviors in their parenting styles, so this is a rule that they've completely abandoned.
3. Eldest children babysitting their siblings
While parents today struggle with the cost of childcare, many old-school parents had a built-in babysitter already. For Gen Xers, who were already used to spending most of their time alone, having an eldest sibling as a babysitter wasn't completely out of the norm.
Anxious, overprotective parents today may never consider giving their eldest child this kind of role at home, but the parentified children from just a few decades ago had no other option.
4. Family dinners being nonnegotiable
Mizuno K | Pexels
On top of all the nutritional and emotional benefits that come from regular family dinners, children also feel more well-connected to their families and parents when they're expected to sit down together.
In the 70s, 80s and 90s, eating dinner together was part of a family's routine and it was nonnegotiable. Kids had to be back inside for dinner, whether that was to help prepare it or to sit with their family at the table.
Today, with hectic schedules and a lot more obligations outside the home, it's not always easy to have family dinners. Especially in dual-income households with busy parents trying to compensate for rising prices, it's a household rule that many have gotten rid of completely.
5. Kids being responsible for household labor
Giving children chores and a sense of ownership or responsibility at home crafts traits they need to be successful in adulthood. But in the 70s, 80s and 90s, kids were responsible for a lot more than parents today would ever consider.
They did lawn work and washed cars. They ironed clothes and took out the trash. But today, parents are careful about the tasks they let their kids do, often out of fear.
Old-school kids learned the hard way to do chores and make mistakes. Playing a role in their household was both a rule and an expectation, and they had no other choice.
6. Bored kids getting a new task
Many kids from older generations learned quickly not to complain about boredom to their parents, or they'd be tasked with a million odd jobs and chores. When these kids were bored, they entertained themselves by running around outside or finding a neighborhood kid to play with.
With new gentle parenting styles, however, parents today feel responsible for keeping their kids entertained and comfortable. Rather than giving them the important freedom to practice spending time alone and deal with boredom on their own, they add more work to their plates by being a built-in entertainer.
7. Kids not receiving everything they ask for
Parenting styles from the 70s, 80s and 90s revolved around lessons in simple frugality and delayed gratification. These rules were nowhere near the overindulgent ones they are today.
When kids wanted something from the store, they had to save up for it or put it on a Christmas list. There was little convenience in ordering food or overnight deliveries, and kids had to wait out for so many things.
While the entitlement of younger generations today is more nuanced than practicing patience, the household expectation of waiting is something modern households may need more than ever, but are subsequently leaving behind.
8. Kids never talking back
August de Richelieu | Pexels
The “seen and not heard” mentality of older generations still tends to amplify mental health stigmas and emotional suppression in Gen X and even some millennial adults. But it was a household rule that children respect authority figures by not talking back.
Parents were authority figures at home who set the rules. Children were the ones who followed. To some extent, this fostered self-reliance and resilience that so many kids lack today.
Yes, kids need to practice communication skills and emotional regulation, but not usually to the extent that they're being granted passes for disrespect and disobedience.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
