People With Big Hearts & Even Bigger Brains Have 9 Core Habits That Make Them Irresistible
Ivan Moreno sl | Shutterstock Being both smart and loving is a rare and special gift that not everyone will recognize. But people with big hearts and even bigger brains usually have habits that make them irresistible when people take the time to notice.
Sometimes, they’re the best listeners or the people who include everyone in conversations. They’re the ones who laugh a lot and make social interactions less awkward. They never put on a front and try to be someone they’re not.
Habits that make super smart people with a lot of love to share irresistible:
1. They ask amazing questions
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Many people today are too worried about speaking their mind and being the center of attention to ask thoughtful questions. They’re terrible active listeners, because they’re only ever thinking about what they’re going to say while someone else is speaking.
However, someone who cares about others and wants to learn more about them asks the right questions. They ask thoughtfully and listen when someone speaks. They’re easy to be around, not only because questions make people feel valuable, but because they prompt better conversations than the typical, superficial small talk.
2. They appreciate silence and pauses
Instead of trying to fill empty space with nonsensical conversation, the most intelligent and empathetic people appreciate silence even if it feels uncomfortable. It might sound counterintuitive, but these small pauses in conversations actually promote better connection and truly make people feel respected.
Yes, they need space to reflect and think, but they’re also intentionally creating room for someone who might not be comfortable socially to speak up. It’s what makes conversations feel easy with these people, because you’re not battling for the spotlight.
3. They put away their phones around others
Even the mere presence of our phone or a distant sound of a notification can distract us, especially in social situations and conversations. That’s why people who are intentional about making someone feel heard and special put their phone away every single time.
They’re not beholden to their phone or staying connected online. They’re passionate about really meeting and connecting with the people around them. While it might seem obvious for some, it’s an irresistible behavior. We feel better knowing we don’t have to fight with a phone for someone’s honest, thoughtful attention.
4. They move mindfully
We often perceive someone who moves or behaves mindfully as more attractive, despite living in a society dominated by a false sense of urgency. Something is comforting and valuable about mindfulness, whether it’s making people feel special with intentional affection or just moving with confidence.
When you’re around someone who lives and behaves with purpose, that sense of value and specialness transfers to you. It’s contagious, like confidence and other mood-boosting emotions. That’s why these people are magnetic.
5. They actively listen to everyone
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When we perceive that someone’s actively listening to us, it activates the reward center in our brains, building trust and rapport. We feel closer to someone and perceive them as more attractive when they give us space to speak without fighting for attention.
Even if it’s something as simple as maintaining eye contact, it’s clear that an active listener cares about what someone has to say, and that makes them feel heard in powerful ways. They’re irresistible in social settings because people feel better about themselves and their voices when in conversation with these people.
6. They try new things
There’s nothing more refreshing than someone willing to step out of their comfort zone, especially when it’s to support someone else. Whether it’s a planned date where you’re trying something new together or a friend willing to try a new hobby to express love to someone they care about, these are the habits the most magnetic people lean into.
Of course, openness and IQ are inherently linked. The smartest people are always interested in learning something new. However, even truly empathetic people with big hearts are open-minded because they care more about making people feel valued than about protecting their own comfort and convenience.
7. They are open to other viewpoints
If you’ve ever had a hard conversation with someone who gets easily defensive and tries to be correct, even when they’re not, you know how draining they are to be around. In contrast, the most magnetic, likable people actually lean into these hard conversations earnestly.
They’re willing to change their minds. They regularly challenge their own biases and snap judgments. They listen to people thoughtfully and make them feel seen, even when they don’t always agree with their opinions. It’s a blend of all the best parts of empathy and intelligence: they care about people and care to learn.
8. They spend time alone thoughtfully
While it might seem counterintuitive that someone’s appreciation for solitude influences how others see them socially, the truth is that it’s usually the most secure people who seek out their own company. They thoughtfully curate their alone time so it actually makes them feel better, whether that means processing their emotions, doing hobbies they enjoy, or simply resting.
They’re better versions of themselves when they’re willing to appreciate alone time, and other people notice.
9. They smile often
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The smartest people make space for laughter regularly, even when they’re feeling low and out of it. They understand that smiling and making light of hard situations is how they protect their emotional energy, and everyone notices.
Especially around other people, being the person everyone can trust to bring joy is wildly attractive. These are magnetic people, because even on their worst days, they bring out the best in everyone.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
