People Who Pretend To Be Cool When They’re Not Usually Say 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Progressman | Shutterstock We've all met someone who acts too cool to care about anything. At first you may believe it, but eventually you see they're faking.. Pretending to be above it all is often used as coping mechanisms to deal with a fear of not being liked. Other times they might just be narcissists.
Unfortunately for them, people like this don’t fool everyone. Some can read right through the act. This type of person will give away how they truly feel when they say certain things.
People pretending to be cool when they're not say these 8 phrases in casual conversation:
1. ‘I don’t even care’
Someone who is trying to play it cool may think they’re fooling us by saying they don’t care about something. They want us to think nothing affects them. The truth is, this person might care a lot. For some, using this phrase may be a trauma response or a way to hide genuine insecurity.
If someone hurt them and they want to appear cool, it can be easy to play it off as if they don’t care. Hiding behind a false sense of confidence prevents them from opening up and being vulnerable with others. While they may think they’re impressing people, a lack of vulnerability pushes people away. Forming genuine connections is difficult when hiding their true feelings behind an attempt to seem cool.
2. ‘You guys are way too excited’
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I can remember several times when I’ve been extremely excited about something, often something like a concert, movie screening, or maybe the release of a new book. To some, it’s silly to show such intense emotions over something that doesn’t seem like a big deal to them. Or, if something is hyped up, they’ll act like they’re not interested or too cool for it.
They’re trying to pretend like they’re true individuals. Going along with what everyone else is into is below them. Some psychologists believe this type of behavior is performative: trying to stand out in social situations by breaking the rules of what’s cool or not. But it's also possible they can't imagine making themselves vulnerable enough to show that level of authentic joy.
3. ‘I’ve never even heard of that’
Going along with pretending to be unbothered by the latest trends, someone pretending to be cool might act as if they’ve never heard of popular things. It could be the music their friends listen to, the latest movie or TV show, or the latest and trendiest restaurants. They’re too busy having their own unique interests to worry about what everyone else likes.
Ultimately, we want validation from our loved ones, and when they correct us instead it can feel awful. Talking about our interests can bond people together, but when a friend pretends they’ve never heard of something to look cool, they may be pushing people away by pretending they’re better than them.
4. ‘I do whatever I want’
Someone like this wants to show their autonomy as often as they can. While they can be easily influenced, they want to pretend they’re not. This means they make their own decisions and do whatever they want, when they want.
In reality, this isn’t often the case (especially with people who actually say the phrase out loud). All of us have to listen to other people, especially those in authority, like our bosses and colleagues, and those who truly do whatever they want rarely brag about it.
It’s believed that some people have more autonomy than others, though no one has as much freedom as they think they do. While someone who pretends they’re cool may think they are pushing the boundaries of social norms by ‘doing whatever they want,’ they likely don’t actually have the freedom they think they do.
5. ‘I’m just brutally honest’
People who want to appear cool might think speaking their mind, even when it’s rude or inappropriate, makes them stand out. It does, but not in the way they might think it does. The person on the receiving end of their words likely feels the pain from it long after the comment is made. Instead of thinking that person was cool, they may question having a friendship with them if they are incapable of being genuinely kind to them.
Claiming to be brutally honest is often a scapegoat to avoid accountability for their actions. They may think this behavior shows how ‘cool’ they are by expressing their feelings even if it’s too intense for others to handle. They think the shock value can be seen as impressive, when in reality, it causes more harm than good.
6. ‘I usually don’t do things like this’
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Have you ever caught someone doing something that isn’t necessarily cool? Maybe it was spending a night in instead of going to a party, or listening to a band that other people seem to dislike. When caught, they may try to play it off by saying they don't usually do stuff like that. They don't realize how strange it sounds to others.
Most of us don’t care about what other people are doing. Research shows that people underestimate how much others genuinely care about them and overestimate how much others judge or even notice other people's flaws. Although no one cares as much as we think they do, someone pretending to be cool might think they will be judged for something they find embarrassing.
Embarrassment can motivate us to lie about our behavior. If someone is doing something ‘uncool,’ and thinks people will judge them for it, playing it off as a one-time, rare occurrence might make others think they’re cool. Likely, though, people don’t really notice or care whether your interests are cool.
7. ‘I was just about to say that’
Wannabe-cool people want to come up with the best ideas in the room. If someone else impresses the group, they might pretend they were just about to say the same thing. Actually, they are trying to one-up others and steal their ideas to make themselves look like they are the smartest and coolest people in the room.
It turns out that while they may say something like this to look cool, people are far from impressed. A study found people had a more negative reaction to idea thieves than money thieves. Pretending to be a know-it-all likely makes people dislike you more, not that you’re cool.
8. ‘I’ve already done that’
I can think of a few examples of how this has happened to me. When I graduated with my Master’s degree, I was proud of myself. However, not everyone I knew agreed. Some thought that beating me to it made them look better and smarter than me. This behavior was just frustrating. Why couldn’t I have had my time to shine?
Know-it-alls might think they're cool, but they’re ruining their social bonds. If someone is trying to lecture you on something you did that they really have no idea about, it’s not only annoying, but completely off-putting. While men are often the first ones we think of doing this (think "mansplaining") women sometimes do it, too. After all, everyone's at risk of becoming a know-it-all someday.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
