Men Who Avoid Conflict At All Costs Usually Have These 11 Frustrating Habits

In relationships, we may want to avoid conflict at all costs. The reality is that we need to have productive arguments at times. It’s how we solve the issues that are bound to arise in a partnership.

While many couples may hope to avoid arguing entirely, it’s not a realistic standard to set. Sometimes, a man may be conflict-averse. While it sounds like this could be beneficial for a relationship, it’s actually the opposite. We need to hash things out calmly to create a healthy partnership.

The 11 frustrating habits of men who avoid conflict at all costs:

1. They say yes when they mean no

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they say yes when they mean no RobertoDavid from Getty Images via Canva

If a man avoids conflict, it’s not surprising that he may be overly agreeable. Instead of putting his foot down when something bothers him, he may continue to let it happen. They don’t want to ruffle any feathers. They’ll say yes even if they wish they could say no. This could be making plans or letting something that hurt their feelings go without standing up for themselves.

This can be frustrating. Avoiding conflict can lead to lasting problems. Instead of being honest with themselves, they become agreeable to save face.

2. They find a way to get out of having difficult conversations

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they find a way to get out of having difficult conversations DragonImages via Canva

No one wants to have difficult conversations, especially in a relationship. When something comes up that needs to be addressed, it can be overwhelming. Sometimes, we’ll do anything we can to avoid the conversation. However, that only puts a temporary band-aid on the situation. It can be frustrating when a man will do anything to avoid having a complicated but important conversation.

The truth is, we need to have the conversations, no matter how long we try to avoid them. If a man always dodges conflict, he may have the frustrating habit of wiggling out of difficult conversations.

3. They bottle their emotions

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they bottle their emotions pixelshot via Canva

It can be hard for men to share their emotions, even if they are not looking for excuses to avoid conflict. Male vulnerability is often seen as weakness. It can be hard for them to be in touch with their feelings. When it comes to sharing them, especially when they are trying to avoid conflict at all costs, it can be impossible. Instead of talking things through, they may bottle up their emotions.

Though boys are born with the same emotional capacity as girls, they are often taught to keep their emotions bottled up. This can cause serious issues in their relationships and problem-solving abilities.

4. They become passive-aggressive

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they become passive aggressive Rido via Canva

Passive-aggressive people often express negative emotions indirectly. Instead of being open about what is bothering them, they make rude, hurtful comments. They may think this habit can prevent conflict, as they can try to pretend there wasn’t malice behind their words. Instead of tackling the conflict head-on, they may make excuses to avoid it entirely. They hope to get away with what they’re saying without a fight breaking out.

"Passive-aggressive men are often (but not always) distinguished by the fact that they are expected to fulfill the supposedly traditional roles of males (i.e. powerful, successful, independent, aggressive, in control) on the one hand, but unable or unwilling to do so in relation to strong social systems in their lives (i.e. parent, partner, work) on the other," says Preston Ni M.S.B.A., for Psychology Today. "Inhibited to express themselves fully and yet needing to validate perceived male gender expectations, some men resort to passive-aggressiveness in an attempt to gain power and control."

5. They let problems fester

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they let problems fester pixelshot via Canva

Have you ever had something that bothered you because you never talked about it? Instead of getting those feelings out, you let them bubble up under the surface. This can be a frustrating situation. If a man is constantly trying to avoid conflict, he may let problems fester behind the scenes. He could be too afraid to let his true feelings come out.

This type of behavior can cause issues. It can lead to resentment and more problems. It’s not easy to navigate a relationship when problems are active under the surface.

6. They apologize often

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they apologize often Alex Green from Pexels via Canva

To avoid conflict, some men may apologize even when they believe they do not have to. Saying sorry when they don’t mean it can be dishonest. It can cause strain in a relationship. Instead of talking about what bothers them, they may avoid it entirely. They’ll say sorry to dismiss the situation.

Frequent apologies can change how people perceive someone. They can come off as lacking confidence or as completely phony. Either way, it’s a ploy to avoid needed conflict.

7. They don’t set boundaries

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they dont set boundaries Syda Productions via Canva

Every relationship needs healthy boundaries. They allow us to get what we need from a relationship without giving too much of ourselves. Boundaries are essential when navigating conflict. Setting them can prevent arguments from occurring in the first place. If a man refuses to set boundaries, he may be looking to avoid conflict. Instead of standing up for himself, he will do whatever the person wants to keep them happy.

People who don’t set boundaries are often people pleasers. They think that by making everyone else around them happy, they can avoid all conflict. This rarely works out the way they hope.

8. They shut down emotionally

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they shut down emotionally PixelsEffect from Getty Images Signature via Canva

When things get complicated, some men may shut down emotionally. It can make having any conversation with them difficult. That is likely their motive. They want to avoid conflict entirely. They believe that by shutting down, they can avoid the situation entirely.

A man who does this may be difficult to communicate with. It can make problem-solving feel impossible.

9. They withdraw often

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they withdraw often RDNE Stock project from Pexels via Canva

If a man is looking to avoid conflict at all costs, they may withdraw from you. If you begin to get too close, it can feel unsafe. They may think arguments will occur if they share too much about themselves. Instead of allowing themselves to be vulnerable, they will keep it all inside. It’s likely a coping mechanism.

This behavior may turn into stonewalling, where they will completely avoid talking to you if there is conflict. Withdrawing makes settling conflicts difficult.

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10. They let others speak on their behalf

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they let others speak on their behalf Kiera Burton from Pexels via Canva

Having someone speak on their behalf can help a man avoid conflict. Instead of sharing his true feelings, he’ll take on how the other person feels. Another person may voice their concerns completely differently. By allowing this to happen, they are being dishonest. Conflict may be avoided, but the real issues will remain under the surface.

They may agree to something just to prevent an argument from breaking out. This form of communication isn’t effective and often leads to great disappointment.

11. They harbor resentment

men who avoid conflict at all costs usually have these frustrating habits they harbor resentment dimaberlinphotos via Canva

Resentment can eat away at a relationship. Instead of improving things by talking them through, a man who avoids conflict will still feel the negative emotions. Since he’s not being honest with his partner, he may grow resentful. This can cause strain between partners. Soon, he may start taking things out on her, but she has no idea what is bothering him. If he had clearly communicated, the issue likely would have been solved.

"Resentment is the silent saboteur — the unspoken anger and frustration that festers beneath the surface, slowly poisoning your connection. The problem? Most people don’t even recognize it’s happening until it’s already done significant damage," says John Kim, LMFT, for Psychology Today. "Resentment often starts small. Maybe your partner didn’t follow through on something they promised. Maybe you feel like you’re giving more than you’re receiving. Maybe there’s a recurring issue that never gets resolved, and instead of addressing it, you let it slide — over and over again."

Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.